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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

TW SA - I think I might have been sexually assaulted

5 replies

GuineaPigPosie · 27/09/2023 21:55

Hi,

I am 24 and autistic. I have never had any sexual or relationship experience before as I have just never felt like I wanted to, but sometimes I would go on dating apps to talk to guys because I felt like that's what I'm supposed to do.

I met a guy on a dating app and we got on really well. I thought we were good friends as I told him I didn't want to have sex or be in a relationship. I ended up going over to his house which I know is really stupid but he lives with his parents so I thought it would be OK.

After not very long he asked if I wanted to kiss him. I said no. He asked why and I said I didn't want to. He kissed me anyway so I just went with it, but I didn't enjoy it. There were a few other things like he pulled up my top and pulled down my bra without asking and did something to my breast with his mouth which I didn't like and he didn't ask. He asked me if I wanted to feel his penis and I said no, and he told me to do it so I did. I've never said this or typed it out and I don't quite know how to say it. He knows I didn't have any experience and at one point he said "I need to be careful not to take advantage of you." he has also since messaged me to tell me he thinks he went too far and I haven't said anything. Thinking about it and him makes me feel sick and like I never want to talk to or see another man again.

I just feel like it isn't "bad" enough for me to be upset by, but tonight is the first time I've really thought about it and thought about how upset I am about the whole experience.

Thank you for reading. I'm really sorry. I just don't know what to do to move past this

OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 27/09/2023 22:01

It is sexual assault OP. report it to the police, you have proof in text and what you've told us. Have you any support from a female friend to stand by you? Xxx

easilydistracted1 · 27/09/2023 22:04

I'm afraid he has sexually assaulted you. Don't blame yourself. Do you have anyone who can offer you safe support to talk through? Rape crisis have a support number you can use them for sexual assault too. Sorry this happened to you

Loubelle70 · 27/09/2023 22:06

Im sorry too OP ♥️

CheryBomb · 27/09/2023 22:06

Tell the police. If he's messaged you to say he went too far you have good evidence.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It's absolutely not your fault for going over there.

anon2022anon · 27/09/2023 22:14

OP, I'm sorry you've gone through this. I would class that as sexual assault.

You could go to the police, but please don't think that you HAVE to, despite what others are saying. It will mean that you are having to repeat and relive your story, with a very slim chance statistically of it ending in his conviction. It's you who will suffer going through the process, for something that is not your fault, so it is completely your decision if you want to take if further.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this in real life?

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