Why am I so crazily insecure, what exactly is this feeling - jealously?

[Username1233]

Firstly I should start by saying me and DP have been together for 10 years, 2 DC, a good and stable relationship. He has never cheated on me, ever. So WHY and WHAT is this crazy insecure paranoia I have all about.

Now I KNOW by DP wouldn't cheat on me. Yet I have this overwhelming fear about him falling for someone else (not physically cheating, just the undying desire to wish he was with them instead) - crazy, right?! Every time an attractive woman joins his work or a hobby, or life in general I have this sickening feeling in my stomach, I don't think it's jealously, but what is it?! It's driving me insane and I've always been like it, even though he has never gave me a reason to feel this way.

I cannot put my finger on what emotion this is, and why the hell I feel like it!

It's probably something from your younger years. Growing up or as a young adult, did you often feel 'not good enough' or not as sparkly and exciting and appealing as other girls/young women? Were you dumped frequently in relationships or did boyfriends seem to lose interest after an initial burst of enthusiasm?

Conversely, does your DP often seem distracted or checked out in your relationship? Although it's good, do you often feel as though it's a bit dull and you're really friends more than lovers?

@CheekyHobson I only had one other serious relationship in my life (and ended up getting cheated on - so maybe it's that?!). It's so odd.

DP is very good, very "checked in" and our sex life is fab. This is why im so confused. I don't feel like there should be any reason to feel this way (and my DP hasn't given any reasons on why I should).

I thought it might be jealousy but maybe it's insecurity? But I shouldn't have a reason to feel insecure! Aaaaarhh!