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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me where to go from here..

2 replies

Lumpydumpy380 · 27/09/2023 19:11

I put up a post the other day basically partner has been caught messaging other women again. We’ve been together 10 years and he’s spoke to Atleast 3 women a year for the last 6 years. Why I’ve taken him back everytime I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ maybe because he said it was my fault and I believed him who knows. Now he hasn’t been truthful this time at all like with the others but I’ve asked him to prove it and he won’t again like normal. Thing is I’ve spoke to the women in question (he doesn’t know) and she told me he’s text her earlier telling her not to say a word. She knew about us (I was pregnant throughout most of their talking time) I was very paranoid as we’d suffered a loss and he wasn’t there for me but he was there for her and she had bad mh too. Anyway, he’s protesting he’s so innocent and was nothing untoward but I don’t buy it. So what I’m asking is…im done like I’m not doing this my whole life BUT how to be done if you know what I mean. How to get the strength to actually leave like i read something saying you won’t leave until you love yourself more than him…I don’t love myself so I’m scared. I’m insecure I lack confidence and this I blame for me not being able to leave…ladies please help me please give me the strength I desperately need

OP posts:
Daffodil18 · 27/09/2023 19:20

I know you try to justify it and minimise it like it’s ‘just messages’. I know I did until it turned it to a 2 year affair. How stupid I feel now that I didn’t leave sooner. I think if someone constantly crosses your boundaries then they obviously don’t care enough and will continue. My ex told me each time it was a mistake. A mistake that is constantly happening is a decision. Don’t put yourself through the torture any longer.

Lumpydumpy380 · 27/09/2023 19:50

@Daffodil18 its hard. I posted an indirect video aimed at her on TikTok yes I know childish and he phoned me and went mad. It’s like she can’t do no wrong and he’s protecting her. Like what about me? I’m the mother of his children, we’ve been together 10 years. He cares about her feelings more than mine at the moment. If it helps she’s half his age, well over. He’s 32, she’s 20…

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