Desperate for advice about husband

[clutchingatcheesestraws]

I wouldn't normally post about things like this but I am desperate and not sure what to do.

I had major surgery 2 and a half weeks ago. Literally 10 days before my husband said he wanted to move out as he wasn't happy. He left me with the kids and came back the day before my op. He left the day after I was discharged and I have barely heard from him since. We have children together and is not making the effort to communicate with them. In the 2 weeks I have been home he has seen them for 30 minutes and keeps letting me down when he arranges to either phone or see them.

I am exhausted, alone and have previous mental health issues. AIBU keep asking him to see the kids? I am sitting here writing this as he has failed to get in contact yet again.

Did he say why he was unhappy?

I think it's reasonable to ask him. I think at this point he's decided he doesn't want to see you or the kids. You've been abandoned. I'd speak to a family law solicitor about how you can require him to provide support while you divorce him.

Tell him you’re having the kids 50/50. I would.

Be prepared, there is most likely another woman.
My advice? Go see a solicitor. Check your joint account. Do you work?
Get copies of financial statements.

Yes I was thinking other woman too. Doing his duty as a husband (as he sees it) but his head has been turned.

In my sad experience when a man is able to check out like that its because he's met someone else so please brace yourself for that situation.
Other people might disagree but i would leave him to it. No more trying to arrange contact, he knows where the kids are, let him arrange his own contact. It will be hard on the kids (and you) but probably best to manage their expectations if he is going to constantly let them down.

What a knob to do this to you at your most vulnerable - I’m really sorry. At the very least he owes you honesty as to what is going on and a discussion about how to move forward with custody and maintenance. Do you want to reconcile or do you want a divorce?