Controversial Topic I Know

[56253tT]

This is probably a very controversial subject 🙈 a few recent post have got me thinking about the situation and I’m very interested in hearing what others think….

Do you think there would be as many single parents if CMS wasn’t around? With the single parent knowing the other parent has to pay no matter what and be in their life one way or another. Is this something that sways the decision of the only parent that has the ultimate choice in having the baby?

Interesting you ask this given your two other threads

A really high percentage of people - vast majority of them men - don't pay the cm they owe.

Yes there would because most single parents are women and are single because the men left.

CMS that the other person won't pay is like an IOU on a bit of toilet paper you just dropped in a river: completely useless.

CMS is a joke..... my 1st husband left 3months after our baby was born and in 17 years never paid a single penny

Exactly this. While CMS can enforce payments I've not heard of it being done so assume its not frequent. Payments are also income dependent so if absent parent is on benefits the money is minimal. I doubt its a conscious decision people make

If it led to fewer women leaving there would be more deaths from domestic violence and distressed children. With housing pressures as they are, few people leave without good reason

But they aren't made to pay.
CMS do very little to 'make' them.

This seems to be on the premise that most single parenting is done by those who split from the father before week 24 of pregnancy and who have no personal objections to abortion.

On what do you base that assumption?

BTW, I was raised by a single parent, after widowhood. And raised my DC mainly as a single parent after separation after over a decade of marriage. As the DC were primary age, I didn't really have any choice about "having them" - they were most definitely already here!

So basically a woman goes into a relationship, or considers having children in an existing one, thinking about whether she will get assistance from CMS if the relationship fails? Or the other half wonders the same if he/she has custody of the child(ren)? Pretty cynical and sad.

It's a moral duty, though, for a parent to pay towards the upkeep of their child if they are not the main carer (although my daughter's father didn't pay a single penny until she was turned 12 years old. Cunt).

Do you think more women would feel pressured into aborting wanted children if men had no financial responsibility for their children and the child would grow up destitute?

That's what you are asking right?

Why not. Do you think child maintenance cover the full cost of a child expenses.? in most cases no.

Every day more people choose to have kids being single and there is no CM in that cases.

Most of divorce, separated parents with kids on custody do not separate/ divorced because they are going to have extra cash thanks to CM. Petty cash or nothing in some cases.

If CM disappear tomorrow by a magic wand, do you think those parents will give their kids away? I'm pretty sure that the answer is no, because most of parents that are in a uniparental family put always children first.

It is not a controversial topic, is topic on delusion.

I find your question hilarious.

You think people are having children because of the paltry CMS contribution?

Are you taking the piss?

That's a very odd angle.
CM isn't much and generally, you're better off financially to stay with a partner who either saves you up money (eg DIY, gardening cleaning, childcare) or brings in money.

4 BILLION was owed in unpaid CMS until several years ago when the government wrote off half of it. What does that tell you?
What I do think is it would be nice if these (mostly) men were forced to pay half of the true cost of their child, so that less children grow up in poverty.

I left years before I got any CMS. I would have left regardless as that awful relationship was killing me.

Well maybe this is an angle pro-life people could look into and increase cms and benefits for single mothers.

I think women are mostly having children because they automatically get a council flat. They trick men by putting holes in condoms- then they're straight down the council office.

As someone who has spent a fruitless afternoon on the phone to cms about the ex who has once again gone on benefits to avoid paying child maintenance (HMRC caught up with him and turns out he was to pay £389 a month, but now as he's decided to dodge the system, work cash in hand and claim benefits instead of paying for his child, the one what he wanted, I once again get the princely sum of £36 a month), I find your theory utterly laughable.

Someone tell my ex this because he pays NO maintenance and doesn’t have the children 🙄

Is this something that sways the decision of the only parent that has the ultimate choice in having the baby?

I don't understand this.

Do men not have a choice about sex and contraception? Have we passed a new law denying them bodily autonomy?

Just seen your other thread and you are getting £700 a month maintenance, do you think many of us get even near that amount? My ex was told to pay £7 a month! And doesn’t even have to pay that.

"Is this something that sways the decision of the only parent that has the ultimate choice in having the baby?"

No.

It is usually because their partner is an utter bastard or an abuser.

hth

Nah, mate. I popped my kids and divorced so I could get a free council mansion as a single mother, thousands in benefits for my fake nails, extensions, fags and tatts, and obvs millions from my ex in child support. A yeah, I'm also breeding XL bullies and have a massive flatscreen in my bedroom. Living the life of Riley, innit!

In reality, I divorced my ex (multiple reasons) and left. My DD was 3 at the time. He saw her 2-3 times at the very beginning and not a peep since. She's 11 now. As soon as we divorced he became 'self employed' and officially earned peanuts. Never paid a dime. Last time I heard, he fucked off and now lives on the other side of the world. TBH, I don't mind much. It's much less hassle with him out of our lives. But should I wish to pursue those CMS millions - do you have any advice how to go about it/force him to pay?