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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Marriage decisions

23 replies

Sadface231 · 27/09/2023 06:16

I posted recently about my marriage. My husband has been secretly cross dressing and has a foot fetish I've reluctantly indulged. There was also some coercive control/ anger issues.

I discussed it with him and said I don't want to have sex with him any more. Although I did say I don't know 100% if this is a permanent thing. I said I want to be friends with him no matter what.

He has taken it badly. He hasn't eaten for a week. Literally nothing (tried about twice and threw it straight back up). He was crying constantly and not sleeping but those have both improved.

He is very keen to talk everything through a lot. He is trying to show me he has lost the anger and is not coercive

However the fetishes remain. He very much seems to want to ignore those and focus on his other behaviour.

He seems to be saying that if we don't start having sex again and everything go back how if was, he will be unable to be friends with me, knowing I might sleep with someone else (I have said this isn't a priority for me at the moment). As it will upset him too much.

So I'm feeling like I don't have much choice. I don't want to upset my kids (the youngest is 10). I don't want to make my husband starve to death or at least make himself ill. He has a history of breakdowns. The last time he lost 5 stone. I don't want him to not be my friend - not least because of the atmosphere for the kids.

So I wish I hadn't said anything and just kept putting up. As now I feel I will have to start sleeping with him again but also make it look enthusiastic.

I can't work out if he is just being honest or is this still coercion.

OP posts:
Catsafterme · 27/09/2023 09:22

Sorry, that must be a difficult position to be in.

In my opinion it's still the same behavior, just a different angle. I'm a guy and although I don't see the appeal, I don't mind if someone else does those things, it's their life. However, what I don't agree with is doing those things when you share a life with someone else and expecting them to go along with it. It's not like you knew this was the case from the beginning...

There's give and take in a relationship, I'm sure plenty have kinks that are one sided and it's a case of whether the other person is open to those. If not, you don't force the issue because they are not comfortable with it, the kink isn't a shared interest.

What I think is happening here is you are purposely being put in an impossible situation for his own needs to be met. Regardless of the fact that he's talking, working on his behavior and gets upset, doesn't eat or has breakdowns, it's all the same behavior to get what he wants and make you feel like you have no choice.

Why does it work? Because you have empathy, you care about him, like a normal person would but unfortunately some people can manipulate those emotions into making you bend on things that you do not feel comfortable with.

Although he is your husband, he clearly has changed and if he cared as much about you as you do about him, he wouldn't put you in this position. He's emotionally blackmailing you, if you don't fold we won't be friends because I can't bear to be around you if you dare to seek someone else. Control. Jealousy.

You cannot live your life worrying about someone who allows themselves to dip into those depths from something they have created themselves, not eating etc. That's his own issues that he needs to deal with. Similar to those who threaten suicide... it's all guilt tripping, something that shouldn't be on your shoulders.

That right there tells you all you need to know and I bet you any money, should you not conform that behavior will return.

Don't worry about the children, I used to worry about mine, keeping the family together, their life. Mine was abusive, same shit and I've come to realize the family ideal is not always ideal. It's not always the right way for children and they can thrive in a different environment, rather than growing up around behavior like that.

You shouldn't be in a position of living your life a certain way or having sex and pretending to be enthusiastic when you are not and are not comfortable with it.

Sadface231 · 27/09/2023 10:22

Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it. I think you're right. I've been coping the last week but today can't stop crying and I think it's because I was starting to feel controlled again. My previous husband was extremely controlling too and I am struggling.

OP posts:
Catsafterme · 27/09/2023 11:11

Understand how you feel been through all that myself recently. It's natural though it's how your body relieves all the built up stress and emotions, ride through it.

At the end of the day, I personally feel like if that's how he wants to live then he can but he can't expect you to be a part of that if it's not something you are willing or comfortable with.

Hopefully some others will come in and share their views but keep your head up and stay strong don't let it wear you down. 😊

VenusInPrimark · 27/09/2023 11:29

He's manipulating you, I've no idea why you'd want to stay friends, Stockholm Syndrome maybe? Anyway, don't worry he won't die of starvation.
It's your prerogative to not want to have sex with him again.He can feel sad about it but oh well.

Dacadactyl · 27/09/2023 11:30

I'd leave him.

IdleAnimations · 27/09/2023 11:36

If you’re being coerced into sex by your husband - it’s rape.

PaintedEgg · 27/09/2023 11:48

he is coercing you into having sex with him. he is disgusting sex pest who will rather starve himself than respect your autonomy.

Let him starve - he will give up once he realises it does not work on you...and get out of that relationship. It's not healthy for you or your children - remember, this is the example you give them, this is what they may one day consider normal and acceptable

disappearingfish · 27/09/2023 11:50

It just goes to show how powerful sexual fetishes are for some people (usually men). This is all about trying to satisfy his fetish. He doesn't even see you as a whole person, just a facilitator for his urges.

Frogger8395 · 27/09/2023 11:58

He is trying to show me he has lost the anger and is not coercive

Come on op. Does it get more coercive than if you don’t let me fuck you I’ll starve myself?

He is sexually abusive and controlling. You need him out of your life.

Sadface231 · 27/09/2023 13:17

Thank you all. I needed this.

OP posts:
IdleAnimations · 27/09/2023 15:08

Sadface231 · 27/09/2023 13:17

Thank you all. I needed this.

I hope you’re okay and I’m sorry for the bluntness of my comment about rape.

But it had to be blunt as what he’s doing is not okay, don’t justify this behaviour. You’re not a body for his amusement whilst you look past a fetish you’re uncomfortable with. Him threatening self harm from you not bowing to his needs is a form of emotional abuse. For you to feel pressured into sex is a form of rape. You deserve better than that.

I say this as someone who rarely ever says leave as I believe in working things out but if this carries on - please leave. Confide in someone you trust as I’m sure the face they will give when you tell them what he’s doing will give you the answer that this isn’t okay.

Please read : https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

Coercive control - Women’s Aid

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/

Rosiem2808 · 27/09/2023 15:10

At the end of the day he is making threats so you do what he wants which to me is all of those things (manipulation coercion etc etc)

Sadface231 · 27/09/2023 15:43

Thank you again. I need it spelling out. I do remember in my therapy about my previous husband - I talked about my current husband a bit and the counsellors face was devastating. As I realised he is also coercive (while at the time I was making excuses and saying how nice he is).

I have now messaged him and said i feel like I am out of options if he won't be my friend if I might see someone else. As I have to put the kids first and that requires him to be amicable. He now says he might have said it wrong as that's not what he meant...

OP posts:
richteaftw · 27/09/2023 15:45

LTB and don't look back.

PaintedEgg · 27/09/2023 15:49

Sadface231 · 27/09/2023 15:43

Thank you again. I need it spelling out. I do remember in my therapy about my previous husband - I talked about my current husband a bit and the counsellors face was devastating. As I realised he is also coercive (while at the time I was making excuses and saying how nice he is).

I have now messaged him and said i feel like I am out of options if he won't be my friend if I might see someone else. As I have to put the kids first and that requires him to be amicable. He now says he might have said it wrong as that's not what he meant...

so he is already back-pedalling...I don't think you should try to remain friends. Just figure out custody agreement and the practicalities of splitting up

cleanbreak2022 · 27/09/2023 18:28

OP, I'm very sorry you are experiencing this but the other posters have it correct. This is abuse in a different disguise.

He hasn't discussed his kinks with you, hasn't valued or respected your feelings on his fetishes. Instead, he had told you of them (or you accidentally discovered) and rather than be open and honest the line he wants you to tow is to be blunt 'put up, put out and shut up' that is not a loving respectful relationship. Being made to do anything sexual you are not comfortable with is rape. Whether being forced physically, or mentally emotionally.

Please leave, don't do a thing that you don't want to and you are not comfortable with. It will erode your confidence and self worth. I have a feeling that has already happened.

Please please get out of this. It's toxic and abusive. Considering he has already back tracked I bet my mortgage that he will deliver a different 'suggestion'. 'I'll eat, I don't want you to think I'm controlling but I want you to do xyz to make this work' still controlling. Still coercive. This is not a business deal, there is no negotiation.

IdleAnimations · 27/09/2023 18:30

cleanbreak2022 · 27/09/2023 18:28

OP, I'm very sorry you are experiencing this but the other posters have it correct. This is abuse in a different disguise.

He hasn't discussed his kinks with you, hasn't valued or respected your feelings on his fetishes. Instead, he had told you of them (or you accidentally discovered) and rather than be open and honest the line he wants you to tow is to be blunt 'put up, put out and shut up' that is not a loving respectful relationship. Being made to do anything sexual you are not comfortable with is rape. Whether being forced physically, or mentally emotionally.

Please leave, don't do a thing that you don't want to and you are not comfortable with. It will erode your confidence and self worth. I have a feeling that has already happened.

Please please get out of this. It's toxic and abusive. Considering he has already back tracked I bet my mortgage that he will deliver a different 'suggestion'. 'I'll eat, I don't want you to think I'm controlling but I want you to do xyz to make this work' still controlling. Still coercive. This is not a business deal, there is no negotiation.

Exactly this 👏🏻 You deserve better OP.

FloweryWowery · 27/09/2023 18:37

I'd stop trying to talk things through, stay friends etc etc and start planning your future for you and the children without him. His treatment of you is truly appalling.

MNetcurtains · 27/09/2023 18:37

It's definitely coercion. He's emotionally blackmailing you. He needs therapy (and kicking to the curb).

makeminealargeoneagain · 27/09/2023 18:37

Massive coercive behaviour from him. It is still you that is thinking about changing your behaviour to meet his needs. Why do you view his needs as more important than your own? Maybe it's because you think that way it holds the family together. But at what cost to your own health and happiness? Time to reassess OP and give yourself permission to be true to yourself.

VeridicalVagabond · 27/09/2023 18:40

I'm sorry but he's gone on hunger strike to make you have sex with him and indulge his fetishes and has the absolute brass neck to say he's not coercive anymore?

Absolutely fucking not. Leave him. He's repulsive.

Sadface231 · 28/09/2023 06:25

Again thank you all so much, I was not seeing clearly. Really appreciated.

OP posts:
HerAvatar · 28/09/2023 06:58

Sadface231 · 28/09/2023 06:25

Again thank you all so much, I was not seeing clearly. Really appreciated.

This is even more true than you realise OP, you're not seeing clearly because he has scrambled your head so you can't think straight. That's what abuse does to you, it messes with your mind and that's exactly what he wants because while you're not thinking straight he can control and manipulate you. The fog will clear once you're free of him and your head is no longer full of his voice and you will be able to see when you look back that everything we're saying is true. For now please stay strong and keep moving towards freedom, this man will not change and all you can do now is save yourself and DC Flowers

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