Married but name not on the deeds

[Humbugg]

My husband bought our house before we were married but we were together.

I moved in and I set aside what would my ‘rent’ money each month (when we were just dating), into my savings account to be put into the house once we were married. It went towards our loft extension in the end (albeit only a v small proportion).

I see all the time that people advise women to get married if the are a SAHM and advise that their name is on the deeds. I’m a SAHM to a toddler and newborn (have been for the past year).
My question is if we ever got divorced, what’s the implication of not having my name on the deed?
Is being married enough to split assets in the event we ever divorced?

Get your name on the deed. Get your name on everything. Especially if you're unemployed and don't have savings of your own.

Here's what putting your name on the deed does: if the marriage goes south, it won't happen overnight. He will have time to unload any assets that are only in his name, for example, sell his house to his mom for $1 and then when it's time to divide up the property, oops, he doesn't own the house. If your name is on it, he can't do that.

If he balks at putting your name on things, you need to get a job and a support system in place double quick. Because it's not like hiding assets is a new thing, there is no good reason that someone with no ulterior motives would have an issue with sharing assets with a spouse.

No one wants that much power over you for altruistic reasons.

How long have you been married? I'm not a lawyer but from reading other posts on here, the house is the marital home, the starting point would be to make sure that each of you (and the children) could be adequately housed, and 50:50 for all marital assets would be the starting point.

It might be relevant how long he owned it and was paying in before you married.

If you were to split you would be expected to get a job so you could fund a mortgage or rent.

Have you spoken to him about going on the deeds (and the mortgage)?

As the house was bought before you were married it would not likely be classed as matrimonial property. Get on the deeds!

I moved into my husband's house when we got married (he put me straight on to the deeds) and later I sold my house and paid off his mortgage.

Married 2 years and together 2 years before that. He bought the house 1 year into our relationship.

I haven’t asked to go on the deeds because I know it will be a weird awkward conversation that arouses suspicion and he will also say there’s no need.

yes I would get another job if we split. I had a career for 10 years before and would happily go back to that industry or something else

Even though it is the marital home?

@Humbugg are you in England?

Assuming there’s a mortgage you can’t just go on the deeds. He would need to remortgage and for you to be added to the mortgage. That’s a risk in current climate because of interest rates. You would also have to be declared as a dependent on the mortgage and as you’re not earning it will impact interest / amount that can be borrowed.

Apparently not @Whataretheodds, obviously there would still be some claim but not 50/50.

I was actually speaking to a solicitor on this matter today although in Scotland.

Im in England.

I have £10k of savings.

he wouldn’t sell his house to his parents and they wouldn’t do that to me (I get on well with them).

yes he won’t put my name on the house for control reasons and I’m aware that’s not okay. I just want to know if there’s implications

Do you live in England? If so it doesn't matter that he owned it before, you're married so you have matrimonial home rights you can register:
https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/marriage-your-rights-to-your-home/
Doesn't mean you're entitled to 50/50 upon split. Depends on if you have kids, length of marriage etc. I still wouldn't use large chunks of your money to pay off the house though. Do you know when house is up for remortgage? Can you be added to mortgage and deeds then? Mortgage lenders are wary of someone being on the deeds that isn't responsible for paying them.

Yes in England. Yes we have children.

I don’t plan to give any more money towards the house as I don’t have any due to being SAHM. My savings are my own.

House was remortgaged a year ago on a very good rate so we definitely wouldn’t want to remortgage any time soon.

I don’t think there’s any need to put me on the deeds (as a dependent) if there’s no benefit. If our house is our matrimonial home in a split, what’s the difference I gain from deeds?

@Humbugg please don't be naive and assume his parents would protect you. When push comes to shove they will pick him over you any day.
With that been said there's no reason why you shouldn't be on the deeds. You paid for the extension and you have money to pay the mortgage down. You should suggest when it's time to remortgage that you do it together and you are added to the deeds at the same time.

I’m not being naive. He doesn’t talk to his parents or have a relationship with them. I do.

It also came to a head in the past and they supported me over him.

I don’t have money to pay the mortgage down, Im not employed.

How do you work family expenses now. Does he pay his salary into a join account so that mortgage, bills, basic expenditure for the family and stuff the children need (and things like your mobile phone) are covered from there?

I think you can “register an interest” in the matrimonial home so it can’t be easily sold without you knowing even if you are not on the deeds

Read the link, you need to register your matrimonial home rights to get them. It would mean you would be alerted if he did try to sell it.

Being on the deeds is better, mortgage company would likely say no.

You should have access to joint money as a SAHM. How do you buy yourself things? This plus control issues really makes me think he's financially abusing you. Honestly, I'd get a job asap and start making an exit plan. I don't picture this marriage going well. Even part time for now just to get your foot in the door.

Have a joint account where he puts £1000+ a month in for food, petrol, children’s clothes, presents, haircuts, play dates, coffees etc.

I don’t see his total salary come in, he pays the mortgage, cars and bills from his personal account.

I get my own money each month for clothes and personal expenses etc. he will send me more if I need it.

I don’t want to get a job at the moment, I enjoy being a SAHM and working after Mat leave was too much to juggle my intense job and childcare. Obviously I would get a job if we were to split

Great thank you and other PPs who have suggested this

This one! My husband refused to put my name on the deeds. I had to take him to court after our breakup, 17 years and 3 kids later, because he said the house was ‘his’. I had helped him renovate the place, slogged long and hard, but he told the court i had done nothing. Although the assumption is 50/50 split of assets you still have to prove you deserve 50/50. Our situation got very complicated as lots of assets. He hid everything, lied on his court forms, lied to the judges. He had bought the house 2 years before we met. We spent 17 years renovating a big house, just us two doing it. He did the lions share after kids were born but I helped still. I was SAHM. We also bought assets for our pension which he hid from the court, he also believed these were his only, as having being the person looking after the kids I did ‘nothing to pay for those assets’. My financial settlement included half the marital home, but the other assets I was told by my (crap) solicitor would cost me £80k for legal representation to prove…she’d already cost £50k. The name not on the deeds thing is as big an issue as your gut is telling you. BTW there was financial abuse throughout the miserable 17 years I was with him, and despite him eventually getting the pension assets (because I couldn’t afford to keep the court case going financially or psychologically) and having a much better income than mine, I still have to go to him cap in hand for everything I buy for the children. Mostly he fails to pay.

My husband and I are getting divorced. We bought a home together in both our names. We have paid off the mortgage. My husband bought a studio flat as an investment and rents it out. I haven't paid anything towards it. He has paid the mortgage off. Do I get a percentage of the flat? Even though I haven't paid towards the flat.

The assumption is that everything in marriage is owned 50/50 so you should be able to claim a share of the flat. The assumption can be refuted based on circumstances. Things taken into account include how long you were married, how much money is available without the flat being shared and whether that is enough for both parties to live on, how the flat was acquired, whether you went without to enable him to buy it etc.

£100 a month for being his maid and looking after his kids? You're nothing but a slave. He must be laughing!

Please go get some legal advice.

Sorry. £1000 a month, but come on, that is still slave wages. He is controlling