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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What was I thinking?

9 replies

Greenyinabottle · 26/09/2023 19:56

Really just a vent, mainly at myself :)

I posted here over a year ago when I found out that my then BF had a history of debt. There were other factors that had made me doubt the relationship for a while but this was the final nail in the coffin. I ended it, and he did not take it well but we stayed civil and just parted ways. And this is where it gets ridiculous.

A bit than a year later I woke to a message that he had sent at 2am on a Sunday morning that just read "Selfish C**t". My first thought was "what a loser" and nothing else, but after a while it got to me. He had waited a bit more than a year to send me that message, just so he could time it for the day when I had lost my beloved pet which had really, really upset me 2 years ago. I appreciate that this might sound ridiculous, but that pet had been my best friend for many years and it really hurt. My ex knew about this, as he has been around then.

It really made me wonder who the fuck I had been going out with, and how righy my decision had been to drop the loser.
No doubt, he had been good to me when I lost my pet, and I need to give him that. But how fucking nasty do you have to be get back at someone like that.

I screenshotted the message before he deleted it later that day, so his details and time/ date are visible. I initially considered posting it on his public facebook page (which he uses a lot to communicate with his family, as he doesn't really have any real friends) on a Sunday morning at 7 or 8, so his family and "friends" can see what a truly nice guy he is before he wakes around 11. The lazy slob never got up earlier than that at the weekend, so it would ensure a few hours of exposure before he'd even notice. Then I decided to leave it, and to let him realise how truly insignificant he is.

I could go forever, and now I regret telling him more directly why I broke up with him as I was trying to be gentle and kept it top level. God, never again will I date someone with so many issues and insecurities. The warning sign was in him always referring to him to be a "nice guy" who was always treated badly.

And yes, this felt good to write down!

OP posts:
honeyandfizz · 26/09/2023 20:18

I would have just sent make some laughing emojis or a thumbs up. That said saying nothing says more than ten thousand words and he is looking for the rise so don't give him the satisfaction. At least he has confirmed that he is in fact a prize dick.

Greenyinabottle · 26/09/2023 20:42

honeyandfizz · 26/09/2023 20:18

I would have just sent make some laughing emojis or a thumbs up. That said saying nothing says more than ten thousand words and he is looking for the rise so don't give him the satisfaction. At least he has confirmed that he is in fact a prize dick.

I had considered replying but given the time he sent it I am sure he was drunk after drinking alone in his roomshare bedroom, and I didn't want to sink to that level.

OP posts:
solice84 · 26/09/2023 21:02

Just block him

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 26/09/2023 21:07

At least you're away from the loser. Ignoring him is far better than reacting to him.

openallday · 26/09/2023 22:42

He is still thinking about you and reeling a year after you broke up?

Loser!

Block him but DO NOT respond. Ever

PaterPower · 27/09/2023 09:47

Given many blokes can’t remember significant dates like Birthdays I find it a bit unlikely that he’d have remembered the date of a pet’s death (and not even his own pet) from two years ago.

Honestly, that’d be giving you way more headspace than is likely, particularly when drunk at 2am.

I don’t know why he texted you after so long, just to insult you (I suspect the alcohol played a big part) but as PP have said, it’s not worth engaging. He’ll get much more out of that than you just ignoring it.

Epidote · 27/09/2023 09:53

Well rid!

solice84 · 27/09/2023 09:58

@PaterPower yeah I was thinking the same. It was probably just a coincidence, he probably had a shit day , maybe he's been dumped by someone else , got drunk and took it out on op
Just block op

Twopintsprick81 · 27/09/2023 10:32

If that happened to me, I'd probably assume that the message was intended for someone else and he'd accidentally sent it to me while pissed.
Either way, he's clearly an idiot and you done the right thing by not stooping to his level by shaming him on Facebook. Chances are, everyone knows what a dickhead he really is anyway.

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