I wasn't sure where to post this, but the main source of my happiness I realise is getting out of a 23 year relationship where the love had gone and resentment had set in. This may come across as smug and pride comes before a fall, but I've had so many years of feeling sad and unworthy. I just want to show that there can be light at the end of the tunnel.
Background: together 23 years, married for 19. Happy and compatible for a long time, however at year seven we had our DC and that's where it started to go downhill. I stayed at home for three years, then Childminded for 7. Very gradually he showed that he didn't value my input or respect me anymore. An example is when he said "do something useful for once", a common sentiment from him. This was in the same week I'd been rejected for a jobs with Argos and Tesco and he knew I was already low. The final year went downhill dramatically. He was often angry with me, even in front of our child. If I was ever slow on the uptake about something he'd ridicule me. When I found a p/t minimum wage office job I was quite proud of myself. It was still obvious he resented me and thought I was pretty useless. I wasn't looking forward to the future and felt flat. It all came to a head at Christmas 2021 when he called me the cu word and told me hated me. He left that day. Now I'm celebrating myself and listing my achievements, I'd never do this in real life!
Now:* I bought a flat for me and son. Decorated most of it myself, laying all the laminate flooring in rooms and saving ££££'s.
*I recently quit the nice wee office job (risky I know but I had some savings)and decided I was going to plan re-entry to the career that was just taking off when I feel pregnant and moved location for ex-h work. My post-grad was in this field.
*I travelled with my son around an Asian country, where English wasn't commonly used. I was terrified but we did it and had a blast
*Beat hundreds of applicants to secure a job in my chosen career. It's fairly entry level, but a professional firm of consultants and has prospects. I even negotiated a higher salary and better terms.
*I took up running running after years, and now also gym several times a week. I've lost weight too and stopped my regular drinking habit.
*I've a lovely boyfriend who treats me well, but I want him and don't need him. I'll never live with another man.
My whole self has improved since we broke up. I believed I was married for life and things would get better. It was like he was part of me, but he was like an extra limb keeping me away from being myself. I'm 48, but feel decades younger. There's a newfound respect for myself and I look forward to the future. I realise I was fortunate to leave with a bit of money, but even if I left skint I'd be so much happier than with him. I hope that if you're in a dark place, you can take some of this as encouragement to plan a way out. There's hope that you can find yourself again.