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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ffs again

8 replies

Lumpydumpy380 · 26/09/2023 06:45

So partner has form for talking to women behind my back and I’ve always found out. Last night our son was on his phone (he has a new one) and he was messing around on his WhatsApp and I saw calls and stuff to and from this woman. Said women was on the scene late last year and early this year and he convinced me I had nothing to worry about (I was pregnant and very vulnerable!) turns out he’s had this women’s number since may 2022! But he changed his number in august 2022 as he’d gave it out to so much women at work so I said right enough is enough last chance get a new number. And he’s done it again, somehow she’s had his new number (he swears blind he didn’t give it to her) which is bullshit! Anyway apperently he was talking to her about her bad mental health and she broke up with her boyfriend and was upset (lol!) I had bad mental health all through out my pregnancy he wasn’t there for me at all just said I should shut up and be happy I was pregnant. We had a mmc last summer so I was very paranoid but I’m not gonna go into it. I had an instinct all along but he shut me down saying I’m paranoid etc. well yeah last night he couldn’t deny it he said yeah he had been speaking to her nothing untoward so i said ok show me the messages and he said he deleted them. I then saw they had a video call on the 3rd July (our son was born 2nd July) and a 25 minute video call on 20th July, a video call on the 8th august and then a phone call 5th September. Now this is enough, after everything I am done. I’ve left him he can get on with it. I don’t know if it matters but he’s 32 and she’s 21 I don’t know if it’s cos we have a daughter it just makes me feel sick.

I have her number, shall I tell her I know they were talking to see if she’d tell me the truth? Or just leave it? Whatever happens me and him are done so I’m not sure I’d be gaining anything 🤷🏻‍♀️ so sorry this is long!

OP posts:
redastherose · 26/09/2023 07:13

I wouldn't bother talking to her personally, what would it matter, he's still going to be the sleazy one who was talking to another woman while you were pregnant and had just given birth. Just bin him off for good and don't listen to his lies about it any more.

SofiYol · 26/09/2023 07:17

Well done for leaving!

Hes an absolute sleaze - deleted the messages hey? Wonder why he doesn’t want you to see them.

You deserve so much better x

Epidote · 26/09/2023 07:25

I wouldn't talk to her. Some people do but I wouldn't bother. She is the one now but by you post I can assume that if it weren't her would be another one.

Lumpydumpy380 · 26/09/2023 09:54

He’s literally throwing out threats if i
message her. Nothing to do with violence but like oh if you message her I will do a lot worse bla bla bla. He knows she will catch him out that’s why. I’m still debating messaging her but truthfully I don’t know if my heart can take what she will have to say

OP posts:
GypsyTartForSchoolLunch · 26/09/2023 10:01

Lumpydumpy380 · 26/09/2023 09:54

He’s literally throwing out threats if i
message her. Nothing to do with violence but like oh if you message her I will do a lot worse bla bla bla. He knows she will catch him out that’s why. I’m still debating messaging her but truthfully I don’t know if my heart can take what she will have to say

If he was threatening me not to contact then that would make me want to!

Lumpydumpy380 · 26/09/2023 10:05

@GypsyTartForSchoolLunch yeah I know what you mean. But having been through 3 deaths this year and 3 miscarriages last year I’m not sure my heart could take what she has to say 😩😩

OP posts:
iknowimcoming · 26/09/2023 10:10

Put all your energy into building a new life for you and your son and put all the drama behind you, don't engage with this woman and stop talking to your ex unless it's absolutely necessary or to do with your son!

Specso · 26/09/2023 10:13

You need to work on putting it all behind you and focus on your life going forwards.

Contacting her will just hurt you even more and achieve nothing. It may cause drama you really don’t need and it will honestly just make things worse.

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