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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A guy.....

8 replies

Nattyz1256 · 25/09/2023 23:46

So this guy and I have been living in close proximity for about 2 years. We see each other in passing every now and then and exchange greetings. One day he asks me for my number, and I was very upfront about not wanting a relationship because I'm unfit, and that we can see if we can build a friendship.

He agreed and we exchanged numbers.

We spoke via text (not a phone caller type of person) for around a week straight...during that time he asked me to be in a relationship numerous times, in which I declined each time.

I explained to him that we're strangers who have exchanged greetings a few times, and asked him why he wants to rush.. he never answered that question.

When we first started communicating via telephone, he told me that he liked me a lot and that he wanted to be there for me and support me in any way that he could. That he liked talking to me and wanted to continue.

The last time I told him no, and asked him what's wrong with being friends... was 3 days ago.

I'm assuming that he got mad and blocked me or is ignoring me..since he never replied.

Was he genuinely interested and just felt defeated because perhaps he had worked up a lot of gumption to finally ask someone out that he really liked and is now disappointed and deflated?

Or is he just a desperately eager and lonely person with low self esteem who doesn't know his worth just willing to settle for anyone??

(He did say that he is single, lives alone, lonely, and has nobody)

Or was he just trying to use me to make someone else jealous enough to come back to him and be with him?

Perhaps the one who he really wants has somebody now, and he decided to get someone too? Maybe it's a * for tat thing with them?? Maybe playing games.

Perhaps he saw me as a downtrodden spinster eager desperate and easy to manipulate??

(He did ask me for a picture of myself)

We're those red flags, or did he just genuinely see me as a nice person and wanted to lock in before anyone else did???

I really feel hurt sad and depressed now. I really did grow fond of him and developed a crush on him over the years...and I always hoped he would befriend me...

I am crushed, and keep constantly checking my phone hoping that he'd reach out to me...

Should I ignore him now if I see him in passing, or just wave and don't stop??

OP posts:
Epidote · 26/09/2023 07:51

Maybe he just block you to avoid the temptation of contact you and be rejected again.

Dayhee · 26/09/2023 07:55

All you need to know about this man is that he wouldn’t listen to what you were telling him. Lucky escape if you ask me.

SnackQueen · 26/09/2023 12:53

Mate wtf did I just read. Is it creative writing week at the troll farm?

Itham · 26/09/2023 13:02

What does unfit mean in this context OP?

Burntouted · 26/09/2023 13:34

Men like this turn out to be extremely controlling, doesn't handle rejection in life well, manipulative,, a host of anger problems and abusive.

Lots of red flags.

Look at him not even listening to you nor respecting you when you said no.

Most likely he was planning on using you.

Relationships take time to develop. Anybody trying to rush and pressure you into a relationship..especially when not even knowing anything about you.....

Doesn't genuinely like you, and have ill intentions and agendas.

You dodged a bullet.
Leave him alone..

Don't engage in any conversation if you see him in passing..don't allow yourself to get sucked back in..don't allow yourself to become his next punching bag.

Frogger8395 · 26/09/2023 13:55

He did say that he is single, lives alone, lonely, and has nobody)

Thats because he’s weird and creepy op.

DatingDinosaur · 26/09/2023 17:49

He fancies you and wants a relationship. You want just a friendship and maybe see where that leads. That could be interpreted as stringing him along in his eyes.

I'll wager that he asked one more time for a relationship, has taken your reply about friendship at face value and decided he can't do that because he wants more than you are willing to give so decided to cut you loose so he can move on from fancying you. It's difficult to stop fancying someone when you're in contact/friends with them, imho.

category12 · 26/09/2023 18:08

Guy asked you out, you told him you just want to be friends - he has given up. He didn't want friendship.

If you had a crush on him, why didn't you agree to start dating?

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