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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being over sensitive

1 reply

Samera676 · 25/09/2023 20:20

I just need advice I guess or maybe just a ear to listen or tell me if I’m being over sensitive.
My husband and I have been married for coming up to 4 years now, prior to marriage when we was together it was amazing, he was jolly fun made me laugh a lot was care free and did silly things with me to make me happy. And when we got married, it was still similair but things got a lot more serious obviously although he was still showing this side to him. Fast forward to now and a baby later whos now 1, things feel so different for me. Whilst I was pregnant he got a new job where his team is mainly women which has made me feel insecure because they r all very pretty women and I know I’m silly for being insecure but he seems to know so much about them, and realistically he spends most his time at work. Then when he comes home to me and our daughter, he doesn’t really talk about his day, he doesn’t really be jolly he snaps at me often or just spends his time with our little girl, which is great and I love that he’s a good dad so am I am absolute ass for wishing that he’d also give me some time and communication. I’m a SAHM and I don’t really have many friends, I have explained to him that I miss his old side who use to be silly with me and be lovey with me and he just references it as being cringe and weird. I even ask him to pray with me as we are both into our religion and he says he doesn’t want to, in my eyes prayer builds connection. Or even little things like if I say to him let’s do face masks or play a game his instant reaction will be an excuse or a moody face. I make a lot of effort for him I dress up for him clean the house and I am not saying he doesn’t do anything he does don’t get me wrong, but I think he thinks just watching tv together is quality time but I miss us, I miss me and him I miss feeling like his world. I feel like nothing now and idk how to get over this. He does try to be loving and affectionate but it’s parts I get and then parts of abs nothing, am I just being silly

OP posts:
vincettenoir · 25/09/2023 20:42

You’re not an ass for wanting a bit of his time and attention. Your LO is only 1. I think this is a difficult time for most couples because they are so knackered from childcare / jobs and have little left to give to each other.

If he has changed in the way you have described he might be depressed. Or it might just be that usual stress / tiredness of this stage of life.

It might be worth telling him you miss messing around together and that you wish he could be more like his old playful self sometimes. He might feel the same way but may need to work at getting back there. Good luck.

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