Does my boyfriend deserve my trust?

[indie12345]

I find it hard to trust since my ex cheated on me.
How can I be more trusting of my current boyfriend- he has never given me any reason to doubt it but sometimes I'll get scared and make up silly reasons he could be cheating on me (eg not answering a call quick enough, having to go in work early, getting a hair cut)
I will know deep down these are over reactions and my anxiety playing up so I never say anything to him, but its hard for me to deal with.
How can I move on from the fear of being cheated on and comfortably give my boyfriend the benefit of the doubt he has proven he deserves?

Your boyfriend deserves to be in a relationship where his partner trusts him, yes. He has done nothing to make anyone think otherwise.

If you feel that you are unable to trust him due to your previous experiences, then you would probably feel the same way whoever you were in a relationship with. That being the case, then you have to work on yourself, and you need to overcome this automatic assumption that something happens, therefore it must be because he is cheating on you. Very few people answer their phone immediately. Most people have to go and run errands or get to work early occasionally. You cannot put yourself under this pressure that you have to know where he is and what he is doing at all times.

You are constantly on high alert and looking for proof that he is being unfaithful. That is an unhealthy way of looking at things, and perhaps what you really need is some counselling to help allay your fears.

Sorry op, thought he might have had curry for dinner last night and you were someone else..

@fiddlesticksandotherwords I feel like I trust my boyfriend, which I suppose is a strange feeling for me.

It just feels strange to sit back and not analyse everything and take it at face value. I suppose part of me feels like I'm stupid if I trust someone.

I gave my ex the benefit of the doubt so many times when he didn't deserve it so its showing up as hypervigilance now. Every time I have a thought what if its because he's cheating I don't actually believe it- it's like I have a weird compulsive response I need to check it out just in case, so it's hard sitting with these feelings and not acting on them.

I just need a new strategy to help me feel more settled with my decision to trust him if that makes sense?

@GreenAventurinee you've lost me?