Advice needed - partner psychosis

[HowdidIgethereblownaway]

Been to gp, mh crisis centre, there he got sleeping pills Friday with anti psychosis, but that was it for the weekend.
He won't leave the house for a few days to give me and my dc some air, which he said he would. I stayed away for 2 night with dc and dog. He promised it's his turn today. But when asked to hold his end of the deal he again decided not to leave. Instead wants to keep discussing pieces of duct tape, kitchen towel, other paper he threw on the floor but now picks it up and wants me to explain wat the folding means.... everything is on me, meaning I cheat and lie to him. When I clean his filth from the toilet he stands over me saying I am washing away my affairs dna traces. He wants to call the gp for me, because I don't see a problem with these foldes tapes and paper. This is going on now for a few months, keeps getting worse, he checks neighbours parked cars for spies, thinks he is being followed, chased, watched. But when I finally manage to get him on the phone with crisis centre again he convinces them I am a woman scorned and we need relationship therapy only. When he hangs up he threatens that if I keep this up they will take away our daughter. I have already made apointments for our house to be appraised. But until then, what do I do? In a hotel now, with my girl. But we live close to her school, she has a cold now, she needs her own house. He says that's no problem. That I am the one with the mental issues and "now I need you to explain the pieces of folded tape".
Has anyone been here? What should be my next step? I have informed by family and best friend. I tried calling his mother to support him but she doesnt answer my calls. Phoned his friend for help, but dp doesnt answer hìs calls.... tuesday will be the next mh consultation, do I call again, do I not. I feel like I am making it worse for myself as they only told me to go and stay with a friend for a few days, while he sleeps, they didn't tell him though, so he will not go, he doesn't think it is necesary. Do I ask them to tell him this?
I really don't know what to do.

Poor you your partner sounds very unwell and it's concerning that he sees you as a problem and is making threats to take your daughter. Are you worried about your own safety or that of your daughter? You need to call the crisis team again (they are 24 hours) or if they won't help and/or it's a safety issue then the police. You could also reach out to the GP again tomorrow and get social services involved given it's affecting your daughter. Hope you all get some proper support soon.

Been in that situation. It was horrendous.

Got divorced, because you and your child need to be safe.

OP, he is definitely suffering from a psychotic episode and the truth is it could put you and your daughter in danger. You need to stay away with family or in a hotel. Call the local police tomorrow and say everything. You’ve said here including your concerns that he thinks you’re having an affair and about the DNA, and that you are concerned about his intense focus on you. They will realise he is a potential threat to you. Ask them if you also need to contact crisis mental health team or whether they will do it for you.
this is not your fault and you can’t be the one to reason with him.
police and crisis mental health team are your options. Good luck

Thank you for your kind words. I worry that he will be right, that if I keep calling he will turn the tables and I will be the one that must leave the house. It just does not make sense that they give him medicins containing anti psychosis.
I am not worried for my daughters physical safety so much, but I am for her mental health. Also for mine. I had a serious operation a few weeks ago, this was planned and he was supposed to take care of me and the house hold for a week or so. Instead from the moment I got home the only thing I got was accusations of cheating. I found out he went through my wardrobe while I was in hospital because he left a beer cap on a shelve. He didn't take care of me and left me to look after our daughter.
He drinks and accuses.
Not 100 percent of the time, he is sometimes very regretful but then slips away again.
Tbh at this moment I am not feeling up to this anymore, I cant do it all plus comforting his suspicious mind over and over again.
I will let the gp know how he went on this weekend and perhaps she can ask him to stay somewhere else for a few nights.
Maybe he will listen, or I also worry it bites me in the ass if I do this. Because he gets nasty when I make calls behind his back. I understand that ofcourse, but I see no other way as he won't cooperate.
My my what a mess.

I am sorry your partner is so unwell and that mental health services seem to be completely failing him.

For now I would keep your daughter away from him. It is very sad but his behaviour will be scaring her and he isn't safe to be around her right now.

I assume you have tried the local crisis team? Personally I would keep calling them, and his psychiatrist and would keep stressing how unwell he is. I would also call the local police about the threats. I know it seems horrible to call them about a loved one but ultimately I really think he needs admitting to hospital and they probably won't do that unless they think he is a threat to himself or others.

Who owns the home?

Personally I would keep daughter away and leave myself with her. I know you shouldnt have to but I think that's what I would do. Do you have any savings or ways you can access a rental? You could call women's aid and see if they can help, they might be able to put you in a refugee or advice on finding accomodation. It's worth a try.

I appreciate really he needs to be leaving but he sounds too unwell to understand that and it sounds like services are completely failing him.

Dial 999
psychosis is a treatable medical emergency
you could speak to the police about a s135 warrant this takes time for AMHP magistrates and police to conceive
take any video evidence you can
alternatively does he ever leave the home, if he does the police can detain him under s136 of the mental health act for assessment in a place of safety
good luck

He won't be right regarding them believing him and letting him take daughter. If you keep calling and they assess him they will see that he is unwell. Document absolutely everything you can.

Just to be clear - has he been prescribed antipsychotic medication, and do you know that he's definitely taking it? If he's in the throes of a psychotic illness then there's no point in arguing with him or trying to talk him around, he's not going to be able to take that on board. But the effect of antipsychotic medication usually kicks in within a few days. I would stay in the hotel tonight and call the mental health team first thing tomorrow. If he's not taking the meds, or if they're not working, it's likely he will need involuntary admission to hospital (sectioning).

I'm no expert but I have come across a paranoid schizophrenic who had behavior to what you describe, although he was dangerous with it. Could this be possible?

There's another alternative if he's that delusional. Have him sectioned and go from there.

Ultimately, get yourself out but that may be required if he won't seek help himself.

Call a mental act assessment.

I've been there. It's awful, you have my sympathy. You know it's nothing you're doing, and there's nothing you can do to stop him feeling this way. He needs help.
Be very careful, if he believes you've been cheating he could escalate to violence, even if he's never been violent before.

Be aware that it won't be easy to get proper mental health support for him, the NHS is woefully inadequate at this. My advice would be to try to get him assessed urgently, but while he is unwell, stay away from him.
You must not put yourself and your daughter in potential danger. You may not think he's a threat to her, but he is to you while he continues to believe what he's thinking. Think about what would happen to her if he hurt you, or worse?

Some practical advice for how to help him before you leave:
Is there a mental health crisis team based at a hospital near you? Call 111 if you're in England and ask for urgent help for him. Tell them you are unable to live with him because of his psychosis right now.
If he is accusing you of cheating then call the Police. Say his behaviour is scaring you. They are very experienced at dealing with such scenarios and know they can lead to violence. They can take him away, and if he's in crisis, will take to be assessed at the hospital.

Most importantly of all, take care of yourself and your daughter.

Catsafterme she can't have him sectioned, only assessed. That decision is made by professionals. Otherwise every abusive person would be getting their 'crazy' partner sectioned.

HowdidIgetthereblownaway don't worry about him turning things on you, he's the one with mental health issues, being prescribed antipsychotic drugs, you're keeping yourself and your daughter away from him. Social Services would see what's going on very clearly, you have nothing to worry about there, you are the protective force for your DD.

Thank you thank you all. Your remarks are very helpful. I am going to have a shower now and have a good think about all this information.
My daughter is sound asleep here. The beautiful soul.
Thank you again. I will resonate on each post.

The decision to section is not hers. This man does however need to be seen by psychiatry for accurate assessment and treatment. He may well be supported to remain at home for his care. It is more than a little but unreasonable and unsafe to expect him to be the one who leaves the home to give his partner 'air'.

Yeah I know she can't just go, section him I just meant intervention may be required. Assuming that would be through 111 or something.

Well no if he's off his rocker he's likely not to give her air but that doesn't mean she should have to leave with her child in order to get away from him if he's causing issues. Obviously don't know the gravity of it but if it is concerning behavior that could escalate then intervention of some kind may be necessary for his sake and theirs.