Clean break, handhold needed

[Freedom1991]

I've name changed for this post, just posting for some support and a handhold really. Any stories from anyone who's been here before.

I've got that horrid sick feeling at the pit of my stomach, as I think I'm close to coming across some evidence that my 'boyfriend' is with another woman. But I'm actually hoping for it too, I basically know what he's doing and I've tried to walk away so many times, but without evidence I just get gaslit and sucked back in.

I know that sounds pathetic, and god knows before this I'd have told anyone in my position they didn't 'need' evidence and should just cut him off and block him. But he's a classic covert narcisst, he's manipulated me for years, and I know how he works. He's also recently started working with me, so he has another line of contact he can still abuse and I can't shut down. I know that for a clean break, I need to present him with proof enough that he knows there's no chance and backs off.

This isn't about me needing to convince myself he's cheating on me. I just need some evidence strong enough to show him he's banged to rights and I won't be under his spell anymore (and he fears exposure)- so he backs off an leaves me to my life.

I think he's taken the OW to a family christening... I'm Facebook stalking an acquaintance hoping for a photo.

Anyone who's been here before, does it get better, once you're free of them?

Any option to drop by where the christening is being held? Not to go in.

I'd have thought it unlikely there'd be pictures of them as a couple at a christening - they might both be in pictures, but surely there'd still be plausible deniability that they were invited separately?

Seriously, if you have no trust in him you don’t need proof of the OW. Just get rid.

I did think of doing that, as I do know where it is, but my grandad's been unwell so I've been looking after him today, so I wasn't able to go by.

He told me he's gone on his own, and it's the christening of one of his family members so he knows there's no way it's plausible that she'd be invited separately.

Thank you. I know I don't need it, but I want a clean break. I know without it, he will just pester and contact me through any means he can.

And I just want to be free of him.

I get it OP, when you're dealing with someone like this, who's fed you nothing but lies, you lose a sense of reality, and you want to go with a watertight exit. I'm assuming too from your message he's been a bustard in many other ways.

Men like this are true cowards, so you know that by presenting him with proof, he's far more likly to leave you alone, if only to stop the OW finding out.

You know then that gives you enough space to reset from the abuse, get your strength back and get on with your life.

Why would he have taken the OW to a family Christening? Surely they all know about you. Would he risk one of them telling you?