"I adore you"

[35and3]

My sister has been dating someone for a few months and he's said this to her a few times, not said the L word though. Is it the same?! I think it's less and love is the next step but I don't want to be negative for her. They're in their late 30s btw!

I used to say this in the first few months to my now husband. I secretly felt like I loved him, but didn’t want to say it first so I would say “I adore you”.

He’s probably testing the waters to see how she reacts and is building up to “I love you”

No it's not the same. The fact he said that and not I love you makes me think he's the type of man who thinks men don't say I love you.

Well if he said I love you people on here would say it's too soon and love bombing..... guys can't win!!!

It might mean he isn't ready to say he loves her. He might not be sure he does. He might not feel it yet. He might be nervous of saying it in case it isn't reciprocated.

But he's saying he adores her, so what's the problem? He's clearly keen. If your sister loves him, has she told him?

Actually technically adore means more than love, it means to love and also respect someone very deeply, and implies being lost in someone’s spell. Being told by your lover that they adore you, is in my opinion as mushy as it gets

Or as they've only been dating a few months, he doesn't love her yet?

I think adore sounds stronger and less trite than love, may just be me!

Well I would hope she wouldn't want to hear the L word so soon. Because thar would be creepy considering he barely knows her as they've only dated a few months.

'Adore' is a nice thing to say. I'd take it that they were quite smitten. But appropriate enough to recognise its not love as its only 2 months in.

Its a compliment expressed as warm sentiment.

I think adore is stronger and should only come years in to a relationship.

I genuinely absolutely adored my ex husband but only after about 5 years.

You don't adore them too soon, it becomes meaningless.

It not the same. If I'd bern day g simeine a few months and they said this, I would not be concerned that they hadn't said love.

I don’t think some here know the dictionary definition of adore. Hence the guy who said it may not either. Therefore best you ask him whether he loves you if you want to know!

Adore is a stronger word, and if used in its dictionary sense, implies a deeper form of love if said to a romantic partner than just “I love you”

If you don't feel in love or don't know if you are in love with someone you are dating and having sex with within a few months I am not entirely sure what the point of the whole thing is. That's a long slow burn. I've never had a relationship with mutual love where it's taken us longer then 3-4 months of regular spending time with each other and sex for us to both feel in love enough to be saying it to each other, that's the new relationship honeymoon phase sort of time in all my relationships and tbh every time I have known I'm falling for them within weeks.

every time I have known I'm falling for them within weeks.

Gosh it's almost as though people are different.

If he loved her, there's a perfectly good phrase for that, isn't there?
I think he's just trying to tell her he really really likes her, you're adorable. I'm mad about you etc.
I do think people get very hung up on the words though when it's behaviour that matters.

The thing is though, you don't know someone a few weeks or even months in. At best you're falling in love with a rough idea of who they are.

One would hope there are some feelings there after a few months of course but surely it's sensible to recognise that that's just the headiness of a new relationship. Not love.

Took about 8 months for DP to tell me he loved me, it just came out one day, unexpectedly. I was just thinking how much I adore him, maybe it's even more than love...and this is 18 months in

How do you know how often they've seen each other in the few months?

Agree with this. And if he's saying this type of thing after a few months I wouldn't get too caught up on the L word.
Some people take a bit longer to say it than others. IME it means more if they say it after they know you properly, otherwise I'd wonder if they've said it to everyone they've dated for a few months.

On the other hand, if it was a few months in and I didn't know how a guy felt about me, I'd think I was wasting my time.

I think this sounds "about right" in terms of expressing feelings

I actually think 'adore' is a lovely thing to say. However, I agree with PP. He's working up to it (hopefully).

I think a few months is enough to know how you feel.
I think I'd be very happy to hear "I adore you" at that stage.
The first time I said "I love you" to my DH of 15 years, he replied with "I love spending time with you too."
Total "burn" as our kids would say. I'd have definitely preferred an "I adore you" at that point.

I'd say we're all different and we're all going to be different in terms of how we express feelings. Adore is deep and lovely and romantic as far as I'm concerned, and I'd probably be overjoyed to hear it now, as opposed to the habitual "love you!" as he goes through the door on his way to work each morning.

@LadyGeorginaSmythe you did better than me! When DP said it to me I said 'Thank you. That's nice of you to say' Fortunately he just laughed and said 'You're welcome'.

@5128gap I'm sure it's reassuring to know lots of long term relationships don't start with an ideally timed feeling of "I love you" on both sides!

It would be a red flag for me.

I'd take it as akin to saying love.

Btw is the partner a bit of a nerd? It's used in one of the Avengers movies instead of love so possibly inspired by that!

Interesting split views! I'm just glad she's happy. She's had many prats before but this guy seems like a good egg!