Ex has contacted after I've been NC

[Yay68]

I'm 54 and relationship broke up 5mth ago. We were together 18mths - lived together for 9mths. Long story short he was a functioning alcoholic (no I didn't realise until after he's moved in) arguments started, he was never abusive, worked hard and good dad to his grown up children. None the less, he was crossing my boundaries. After a huge argument he upped and left.... 5mths on and going NC I'm in a much better happier / positive mind set. Yes, I still miss him some days and the odd day dream of what might of been. Last night out the blue he sent me a video of lovely country pub garden with this txt
"so gutted bout wot happed between you n me. I'm sat in a bootiful country pub avin a pint on my own, watching the sun go down. You'd love it here. I've moved to a little village - Supping a pint as the sun goes down over the fields. Thinking what could have been...xx.
part of our future plan was to move to the countryside. Why after all this time would he txt this?? Drunken moment maybe? Regrets? Both? Still raw with feelings today so go easy 😊

I'd block for the grammar alone 😄do you think he was drunk when he sent that?

I'd say he's trying to reel you back in by sending something like that, or to rub it in. 'Look, I'm living OUR dream.' My ex tried something of the sort by getting someone to tell me when he'd made his 'first' million. (He always told me he intended to be a millionaire). I couldn't have cared less by that stage so I said 'that's nice.' Shame he lost it all a few years later. (Didn't laugh, honest).

Do you even know he's where the video was taken and hasn't just found it on the 'net?

It's still all about the booze, isn't it?

Don't bother replying. He'll wreck it for himself soon enough.

The grammar alone would make me block him. Wtf, he’s chatting like he’s about 12.
Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he was pissed. Again.

He's still drinking. That tells you everything you need to know about how much he respects your boundaries. Block him.

The under tone there is that he’s at the pub, he couldn’t have just sent you a normal message saying that, without being in a place that would have reminded you of his issues.
Your doing great without any contact, your gonna be okay just don’t message back x

It's still all about the booze, isn't it?

Yep. Look at it this way, OP. If he's as drunk as his message suggests, you'd be helping him home because he's too drunk to do it and be dealing with his hangover today.

Even the garden of Eden had a serpent in it and for you it would have been the drink, however idyllic the rest of it was.

In one short message, "... blah blah...pub...blah blah...pint.... blah.....pint....."
His life is still focused on alcohol, you really don't want to go back there.

I couldn't contemplate being with someone who sounds like Bernard Matthews. Not to mention the cringeworthy pub/pint/supping/pint.
Run in the opposite direction, as fast as you can !😎

Lol 😆 at the grammar, but moving past that, he's with the true love of his life isn't he? His pint, that's what he chose, and what he'd choose over you every day of the week. That's all you need to know

You can still have that countryside dream come true by yourself or with someone else.

IF you had any feelings for him you could say I could only reconnect with you when you're t total and have been in aa or similar recovery programme for at least 6m. You'll probably never hear from him again, but at least you'll never wonder what might have been and you'll know you did all you could x

Drunk again and convincing himself he's #livingmybestlife despite having given up on a promising relationship because he couldn't put the drink down.

And by closing time, he was, yet again, absolutely paralytic.

Block and enjoy the peace of mind from not being dragged into his life choices anymore.

@Yay68
You admit that you have the occasional thoughts about him, so it is not surprising that he too might occasionally look back with fondness.
The fact that he is having this trip down memory lane while drinking tells you that not much has changed.

Oooof

id delete and not reply and be strong (ha !)

it’s so hard !

It is still and always will be about alcohol. I hope you find your dream with someone who can function without booze each day. I do understand, but you are longing for 'what might have been' and not a reality.

Don't reply. Let it go. You already feel happier without him. Why risk your better life without him replying?

Well he showed you that he has yet tackle his alcohol problem 😕

Your dream: the two of you in the countryside

His dream: him and drink in the countryside (missing you after a few)

You have done the right thing op. Drink is a real demon for some. It is a personal demon that can only be dealt with by he who owns it.

Yeah he's full of the drink and going over the past. Disregard, do not reply.

Block him. Clues in the ‘having a pint’ or 7

Drinking alcohol all alone in a PUB....that's his future right there. Lucky escape OP

He's just another drunk playing his manipulative little game. Nothing's changed. Block and move on. You deserve better.

So his go-to happy place is the pub for a beer!

That says it all