I need to leave I think. H and I have been together since university (20 years, married for 6). We have two small children (5 and 2). I think we have both changed over the years (and I certainly have since having my children). Over the past few years I have become increasingly resentful. We bought a "fixer-upper" and he went part time supposedly to work on the house. My career has gone very well, to the extent I earn perhaps ten times his (part time) income. I didn't mind the arrangement to begin with, but found that no work was being done on the house (he seems to spends hours on YouTube/reading Reddit) and he wasn't cooking/cleaning etc either. I (foolishly) put up with this as I was desperate to have children (and was mid thirties at this point). Since having children I find that I do all the life admin, cooking, cleaning (to the extent possible given his hoarding - a whole other thread) plus working full time in a very difficult job. He has also changed physically (not his fault but a significant physical change that I - awful as it sounds - do not find at all attractive). He rarely looks after the children (and if there is something he wants to do - regardless of what I am doing - he sends them to me). If I mention any of this I am a martyr or he'll recite some of my faults. Reading this back it seems ridiculous but I am so worried about the effect on my children - they do really love him. Financially I may be screwed - if he went full time/went for an easy promotion he could earn double if not quadruple what he earns now - would that be taken into account? We have a lot of assets and I have a very good pension. I suppose I'm also cross (with myself too) that he will be rewarded handsomely when he hasn't contributed. I just need some courage....