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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gift or loan money in Divorce

11 replies

Strictlyfan74 · 23/09/2023 20:26

Can anyone advise please? My stbx family is wealthy. I’ve been married 28 yrs. In that time they have given us a substantial amount of money that my ex has used to fund properties in our joint names that are rented out. I’ve helped clean, look after, decorate and stayed in these places as our holiday homes for the last 20 years.
I’ve asked for a divorce and my stbx is very angry and is deducting that money from our ‘pot’, saying that it is not my money and belongs to their family therefore the property is not anything to do with me. So I effectively lose any right to the properties or future rental income. I am being told that this money was actually a ‘loan’ which had to be paid back with 20 yrs of interest 😬 it’s not as I’ve never seen any paperwork or anything.
This to me doesn’t feel right, I am happy to be given another viewpoint, I am not very financially minded and they are very wiley and clever, also quite controlling and manipulative. Saying we can’t get solicitors involved as I may go to prison (😳) I asked to go through a mediator but they are being difficult and hiding stuff after the first appointment. I am confused and struggling massively. Thank you.

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 23/09/2023 20:27

Get a solicitor

imagiantwitch · 23/09/2023 20:49

Get a solicitor ASAP
They are talking shit

Wallywobbles · 23/09/2023 20:54

There's "you and there's "them". They are no longer friends and family. Legal advice all the way.

AND all solicitors are NOT equal.

LittleOwl153 · 23/09/2023 20:58

You won't go to prison for involving a solicitor. If you have undertaken anything g dodgy then so has he... He's deliberately trying to scare you into giving up assets of the marriage. Get a GOOD solicitor... and don't speak to him / sign anything until you do and the solicitor understands it all

Needapadlockonmyfridge · 23/09/2023 20:59

Solicitor.

Unless there is paperwork to prove this is a loan, these are in the marital pot.

He night not like it, but he doesn't get to override the law.

Peacendkindness · 23/09/2023 20:59

imagiantwitch · 23/09/2023 20:49

Get a solicitor ASAP
They are talking shit

This - all your assets are yours - you never signed any loans he is stealing from the marital pot

SD1978 · 23/09/2023 21:20

They are tryouts g to manipulate and intimidate you into what they want. You need a good lawyer, not any lawyer, and to proceed promptly before they start hiring and making things up.

BitOutOfPractice · 23/09/2023 21:22

You’ve got a solicitor? Please tell me you’ve got a solicitor. You may also need a forensic accountant.

Nam3chang384 · 23/09/2023 21:25

Were these properties also bought with mortgages? Typically if you are gifted money for a deposit the person gifting has to write a letter confirming it’s a gift and not a loan and therefore they retain no interest in the property.

Winter2020 · 23/09/2023 21:29

If the properties were bought using loans from your ex's family or anyone else they will be able to show you (or better your solicitor) the loan agreements and the bank statements showing the loan repayments for the last x many years since you have had them. Some of them must be paid off if you have had them 20 years. Or do they mean the type of loan that you only start repaying when you are getting divorced ....the type that don't exist. You need legal representation ASAP.

category12 · 23/09/2023 21:47

They're trying to scare you into not going after your fair share of the marital assets.

Get a solicitor. Get a forensic accountant too.

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