How to get over an ex after ten plus years?

[Lavendertearoom]

Hi,

after watching the programme Wanderlust (where the wife in it ponders life with her ex boyfriend) I stupidly facebook searched my Ex love of my life from tenyears ago. I’ve found out he’s married with two kids. The problem is I feel shit for searching for it, I am married and have children myself. I have no desire to contact him , just wanted to see what he was up to. I feel sad and low now.

How can I just move on and live my life? I’ve deleted Facebook today 🎉

please help 🙏🏻

Just don't look again. It's still fresh in your head x

I’m not clear on what’s happened, here. Move on from what, exactly? You just looked up an ex. Do you still want to be with this person? And why have you deleted FB?

If you’re married with kids, why is it an issue that he has the same?

Are there issues in your own life, OP? Concentrate on those if there are, but forget about the ex

I think I’m just annoyed at myself for searching for him after not even thinking about him for years and also I’m happy with my life so I feel guilty that I feel sad that he has a life that we could have shared together? It probably doesn’t make much sense sorry!
deleted Facebook as I don’t use it usually and don’t want the temptation to do it again, only problem is it takes 30 days to delete.

thanks for the advice x

I hear you OP...even if you are happily married now, the feelings for first love sometimes never completely go away. They can be very intense and even if you know logically that you have both moved on with your lives, revisiting can bring them back up. (I know it would for me). Try and just throw yourself into the present and your own life and as others have said don't look again. Xx

Facebook taking 30 days to delete isn't the problem. The problem is that you feel so bad having looked up an ex. It's really normal behaviour, including having some pangs even if you've moved on. It's just wondering about what future you might have had if circumstances had been different.

If you're happy in your own situation/relationship/family now, then just accept your feelings and wait for them to fade. If it's a sign that you're not happy, then that's what you need to be thinking about.

Have you been married longer and are your children older than his.

He got married and had kids before I did