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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have you ever got back with an ex successfully and how long after you split did you rekindle?

29 replies

Littlemisslonley · 23/09/2023 13:14

Just that really....
Have you ever got back with an ex and it has been successful after a horrible break up? How long were you broken up for before you got back together?

Just curious really about others and their experiences.
X

OP posts:
11GrumpsaGrumping · 23/09/2023 13:15

Not me, but a friend of mine divorced the same woman twice :-)

Freezingcoldinseptember · 23/09/2023 13:17

Took my back after a 6 month split. Married 10 weeks later. Sadly the facade slipped after a fortnight. Divorced after a year. . Ime cunts don't change their habits. Don't do it op.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 23/09/2023 13:31

A friend of mine took a month away from her boyfriend about 7 years ago as they had a massive argument and everything awful was said by both of them. They then agreed they could not hurt each other any more than they had hurt each other, drew a line under things, got back together a month later and are happily married the past 5 years. She says it was the best decision ever to fight for them and they are the happiest couple I know.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 23/09/2023 13:32

Also myself and DP broke up on holiday one year as we had communication issues but once home realised we couldnt live without one another and worked through it. It was almost like a cleansing ritual as we got things off our chest during the argument that we had both been harbouring and now we are as happy as pigs in shite :)

BananaSlug · 23/09/2023 13:32

My ex has recently told me he still loves me, we have been apart years! It’s too long for me but I don’t agree when people say an ex is an ex for a reason or never get back with an ex, I think it can work depends on the situation but I don’t think it’s a point blank never.

watchingsmurfs · 23/09/2023 13:37

A couple I know divorced and then got back together again. They are very happy together now but gutted about the vast amount of money that they wasted - effectively their retirement plan.

EVliving · 23/09/2023 13:47

I have known lots of people get back with ex partners etc. Most worked out and are still together.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 23/09/2023 13:48

I think it also depends on the people involved and how much you love that person. If you love them because you need them then no it wont work but if you need them because you love them then it can.

Have you been split from your ex for long OP? Do you still love him? He you?

AsYou82 · 23/09/2023 15:16

yes. Broke up once and it took a tremendous amount of honesty and effort to get back together from both sides. It was what we both wanted so we had to work really hard at it. We split up for the right reasons and got back together for the right reasons and we haven’t held into any resentment over it either

MaMisled · 23/09/2023 15:33

DH and his first wife divorced, reunited and remarried after 2 years apart, had 2 more DC, divorced again after 18 months. He and I have been deliriously happy for 22 years and, unlike her, I'm not unfaithful and I appreciate him.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 23/09/2023 15:38

Actually thats a good point. If cheating was involved it would be a blanket no way not ever for me but if its just an argument that can be salvageable with a talk then I would go for it but cheating no never.

Timeout22 · 23/09/2023 15:46

I did, firstly after 2/3 months and then again after 2 and a half years but it didn't work out. He hadn't changed as much as he claimed/wanted to. Think he would come back when lonely

Dolores87 · 23/09/2023 15:58

Yes. We were together for a year. Broke up pretty messily. Separated for 8 months. Got back together we've been together for 14 years

DrNo007 · 23/09/2023 16:03

Yep. Friends of ours first got together in their 20s but lived on different continents and the relationship fell apart under the strain of long distance. They got back together when they were about 50 years old and have been together for the fifteen years since. They recently got married and are very happy.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 23/09/2023 16:05

Split up after 2.5 years together. Got back together 3 years later. Been together since, so 27 years (20 of them married).

Littlemisslonley · 24/09/2023 08:58

Neverinamonthofsundays · 23/09/2023 13:48

I think it also depends on the people involved and how much you love that person. If you love them because you need them then no it wont work but if you need them because you love them then it can.

Have you been split from your ex for long OP? Do you still love him? He you?

@Neverinamonthofsundays hello 👋
We haven't split for long to be honest no...8 weeks now since we split. Ex hasn't tried to come back and fix things in fact I begged him too and he walked anyway.... he blocked me on everything 3 weeks ago but not because I was hounding him I wasn't I was giving him space and no replying to messages which resulted in more arguments.

I'm asking as I feel if he did love me he will come back at some point and realise what he has lost? At 5 weeks split he was still in a mess over us and said he can't sleep he can't eat he can't stop thinking about me etc etc however....
.....he did have an emotional affair with a "female friend" and hid parts of it from me...and lied about her to me...he broke my trust boundaries 6 times that I know of with said friend and other comments to other females...so....its not great anyway I guess x

OP posts:
Needanewnamebeingwatched · 24/09/2023 09:16

Ex's are ex's for a reason, don't go back

Loubelle70 · 24/09/2023 09:27

Me and ex together 25 year. We split up..got back together a few times. He never changed as promised..just slipped back into being him. We have been split for 3 year. Id never go bk with him...he was abusive though.

Mummysgonetobed · 24/09/2023 09:29

I’m now with a man who was my ex 17 years ago - we are happier now than we were then

Loubelle70 · 24/09/2023 09:30

OP...he hasnt contacted you. That tells you a hell of a lot. My ex didn't...he wanted me to do the running..i did. I was a fool. Because if he comes back (after hes had his single fun) he will have you over a barrel if you try to ask him back. Go NC.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 24/09/2023 10:16

@Littlemisslonley if there is another woman around then walk away and save yourself from heartbreak. If my ex had so much as contacted another woman while we split up briefly I would never have taken him back but if there is another woman on the scene anyway then he will have his fun before getting back with you and to me thyat is as bad as cheating. Im so sorry you are going through this x

Littlemisslonley · 24/09/2023 10:26

Neverinamonthofsundays · 24/09/2023 10:16

@Littlemisslonley if there is another woman around then walk away and save yourself from heartbreak. If my ex had so much as contacted another woman while we split up briefly I would never have taken him back but if there is another woman on the scene anyway then he will have his fun before getting back with you and to me thyat is as bad as cheating. Im so sorry you are going through this x

@Neverinamonthofsundays that's the problem isn't it.... a female friend of 20 years apparently but I don't see any evidence of the 20 years. He walked out because I told him he has to tell female friend to not facetime him at 1am or I can't carry on like this....he got up got his ds and left at 10.30pm at night...ignored me for weeks..and went to Ireland where female friend lives (and his family pre planned trip) eventually blocked me 3 weeks ago after I called him out for not returning all of mine and my dcs stuff.... I'm better off without ain't I? Shouldn't be sat here on mumsnet wishing for a happy ending and us getting back together after x amount of time...

OP posts:
DixonD · 24/09/2023 10:29

Yes, I did. Split up after six months together and then got back together 2.5 years later. We’ve been together 17 years now.

preggo39 · 24/09/2023 10:43

Yes, me. Broke up for 3 years. Now back together for over a decade.

bagheera92 · 24/09/2023 12:45

I split with my daughters father just before she was born, we where both quite immature and bickered. We started taking our daughter out together etc. spent her first birthday together. We got back together properly when she was 1.5.
Now we have a beautiful 6 year old daughter and 4 year old son. And we are getting married at the end of this year Flowers

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