I messaged my ex my feelings and I feel stupid

[chocolateaddict231]

Happy weekend to everyone,

I messaged my ex, who I broke up with earlier this year, to tell him how I felt about how I was treated. We were speaking earlier in the week, he was being friendly but I was trying to get across that I wasn't happy with our past. A couple of days ago I put my feelings into a message, explaining how I felt bad in the past towards him and how I'm trying to forgive him but I have been left feeling shitty still. He didn't reply (he's always the type to reply, he's always on his phone).

I feel pretty regretful/pretty pathetic that I let that happen. I hoped it would make me feel stronger and he might apologise and maybe we could even figure things out....

You’re not pathetic.

You called him out on his shitty behaviour and he didn’t like it. He’d like it if you kept your mouth shut and brushed it all under the carpet I’m sure.

If he’s not mature enough to take accountability and apologise it’s on him, not you. You did nothing wrong, but do not ever go back to someone who makes you feel that way.

He's trying to worm his way back in.
You didn't let him.

Good for you for having your say. Now block.

It is good you said it all rather than slipped back into a relationship you were once strong enough to get out of. It might be harder a second time.
Leave contact now. All you've done is ensure you won't go backwards in your life. If you're going to go forwards with him, he'll have to be a better version of himself won't he? Otherwise, just get back out there and forget him.

You did your best for yourself and what you thought you truly wanted. I have learned that we can be very sad and mourning the end of a relationship that really it would be far better not to recommence. Once the ending has taken place, it is usually better not to start again, at least not without some really fundamental changes.

Please don't feel pathetic, you don't need to worry about feeling low, far better to look at what's going on and evaluate it carefully than to jump in just to soothe hurt feelings. Take care 🌷

He had previously apologised but I felt it was pretty half hearted so I wanted to make my feelings clear. I think I wanted a reply saying 'I'm so sorry, that was terrible of me and I'll try be better for you'. Silence would have been stronger but I can't take it back now....

Block his number so you can't keep checking to see if he's replied. Don't give him this power over you. He's an ex for a reason.

Hi @chocolateaddict231
Hun you're not pathetic at all. I wish i had communicated how i felt in my previous relationships, it would have made me feel that at least they know everything and not just assuming or guessing what's going through my mind. Honestly what you done is all good, don't worry xx

Try to relax and keep yourself busy, as time passes you'll feel better. He's probably simply embarrassed now

You aren't the first and certainly won't be the last person to have made this mistake.

I've been on both sides and as the one sending the message, like you I hoped for an apology...and actually got a character assassination so horrible that more than 15 years later I can still remember every word...and I still cringe internally when I think about it.

As the one receiving the message - all it did was piss me off and confirm in my mind that I was right to end the relationship with them. 'Apologising' to them for ending the relationship was the last thing that sprang to mind. I also felt like that I had nothing that happened during the 'relationship' to apologise for - I put the word in brackets because up until I said I didn't want to see him anymore (after a year together) he refused to call me his girlfriend and then when I dumped him he was suddenly 'in love' with me...as I told him 'too little, too late'.

Anyway. Delete his number, block him everywhere you can. Don't torture yourself any further.

@FreeRider this seems to happen to us all, doesn't want titles until we walk away

Yeah I keep checking phone for some 'miracle' response