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Original poster

What would you do ?

10 replies

Lionessbecca · 23/09/2023 10:28

So my partner had said to me “oh your cheating on me baby that’s why you keep asking me when I am coming home from work”
so I said wtf no are you actually serious but I didn’t actually find it funny after he said it was a joke because I look after my 2 little girls at home and trying my best keeping on top of things with them and things outside of home for them
Then he was smoking on the sofa and had the ashtray between us so I moved my leg so I could stretch it out but silly me accidentally knocked it over and he got wound up saying “ah ffs come on “so I said to him I’m sorry like I didn’t see then he didn’t say nothing so I went again “hello babe I said I’m sorry”and he just stared at the tv with a straight face and just nodded his head yes which I was uncomfortable with

It then reached 3am I was so tired my girls normally wake up about 7-8am so he said are you hungry so I said not really I really need to sleep to get up for the girls I stayed awake until then so I can watch a movie with him as he didn’t get back from work until 12:30 and didn’t even realise the time so I headed to bed and as soon as I did he text me saying can you come back in here for a second in the living room so sat me down and said are you getting use to me being away now as he does stay away jobs sometimes but not all the time so I said yeah a bit I mean it’s better than not coping which I wasn’t when he done his first ever stay away job and then he said it seems like I don’t want him there so I said how so wtf so he said he doesnt know it seems like it .
I said you know it’s really late at night yeah sorry I’m not so energetic you’ve ordered us food so late u know I don’t get hungry late at night and I need to get up for the girls I’m just so knackered as this was at nearly 4am now so he said yeah but I’ve been working heavy lifting my job is so intense I’ve been doing this and that at work I’ve done so much today and I’m feeling really ill also do you see my point ? and at this point I don’t get his point he’s confusing I don’t get it and I don’t remember anything after this to Be honest as I really wanted to go bed

what kind of behaviour is this ? I don’t get it but made me feel really uncomfortable and I feel shit again after I was so happy yesterday and cleaned up properly for once the house was spotlesss as I have been very depressed before so didn’t really do much around the house or with myself

OP posts:
Original poster
Lionessbecca · 23/09/2023 11:24

& sorry for the long paragraph 🥴

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 23/09/2023 17:26

Why on earth are you staying up so late when you're so tired?

Are you afraid of his reactions to you?

category12 · 23/09/2023 17:50

Why is he smoking in your home when you have children?

It's like he's getting you to show him he's more important to you than being a good mum to your kids - by pressuring you to stay up so late that you'll be too tired to be much good to them, etc.

I think give him the boot if you can't stand up to him.

Original poster
Lionessbecca · 24/09/2023 12:30

Exactly I never ever smoke inside when he’s away for work but when he’s back he thinks it’s ok “as long as the windows are open he says . And yes exactly even today I haven’t got no money and he knows this I’ve borrowed him mine and trying to wake him up today at 11am to get food for them as they’ve only had toast at 7am and says he’ll go in a min I leave it over an hour wake him again and he telling me to leave him alone he’s ill ..had enough
and what do you mean by give him the boot ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lionessbecca · 24/09/2023 12:32

I would say yeah I am afraid of his reactions because just like I was typing in my post he’s thinking things and just saying all sorts just because I couldn’t keep myself awake past 3am like that was ridiculouss

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 24/09/2023 13:08

He sounds dreadful and abusive. Why are you with him? Is he your DC father? Is the home in your name?

category12 · 24/09/2023 14:03

Lionessbecca · 24/09/2023 12:30

Exactly I never ever smoke inside when he’s away for work but when he’s back he thinks it’s ok “as long as the windows are open he says . And yes exactly even today I haven’t got no money and he knows this I’ve borrowed him mine and trying to wake him up today at 11am to get food for them as they’ve only had toast at 7am and says he’ll go in a min I leave it over an hour wake him again and he telling me to leave him alone he’s ill ..had enough
and what do you mean by give him the boot ?

Give him the boot means end things with him.

He overrides your wishes, treats you/your home disrespectfully, doesn't care about the impact of his behaviour on your children, accuses you of nonsensical things and pretends he's joking, and you're a bit afraid of him - you need to get rid.

Original poster
Lionessbecca · 24/09/2023 16:01

He’s my youngest ones father yeah and thank god it is in my name yes he’s always wanting me to put his name down but I haven’t

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 24/09/2023 21:32

Good then you ask him to leave. Arrange for him to have access to the DC if co-parenting will work but honestly OP he sounds abusive and controlling.

I'd not be compromising my DC or myself for such a man.

mummy21blueeyed · 24/09/2023 21:33

First of all tell him to take his smoking outside wtf. My child’s dad didn’t even smoke near me when I was pregnant let alone near his children.

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