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Relationships

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Kind of lost

8 replies

Goldenemmma · 23/09/2023 10:20

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months He's 3 years older than me (he’s 22 and I’m 19) so he's busy between, work, college, and a lot of family issues and I'm also in college. Usually we try to see each other once or twice a week, depending on he's schedule and his availability. Now it has been a whole month since we last saw each other. I mean that's a lot. I understand that he has to deal with a lot of things but an entire month? And it's not like he compensates through text. No No no. He usually takes at least an hour to respond. The worst thing that he does, is that he often takes an entire 24h to respond to a single text. So when I want to discuss something important, he takes so much time to respond that I finally give up and not in the mood to talk about it. We were supposed to see each other but he got called in for work so we had to cancel. What surprised me is that he didn't even try to reschedule another date and I feel like if I don't do it, he will not actually propose something. I would really like to talk about it with him but I don't know why I just can’t do it Am I being too much?

So, lately I kinda broke up with my boyfriend. We dated four months. However, during the whole summer we couldn’t see each other at all. I tried to make plans but it was worthless or there was always something that prevented us to see each other. Recently as a joke, I said that our relationship was over. at first he didn’t take it seriously, neither did i but later on, I kind of was serious but not really because I didn’t really wanted to break up. I mean it was not the goal of the text. so after I said that he was like “well why I treated you so good like what would you want to break up etc.” As a joke, I said, “did you really?” And I don’t know after this message is responses were kind of weird like I don’t know how to explain. He was not really replying to my texting anymore. And I was kind of offended because he didn’t even bother to ask why I wanted to break up. He just said OK or if I remember correctly, he said I understand. So I was kinda hurt. So I said “ you don’t even wanna know why I want to break up?” And he said “ I think I know why” so I just said, “so what is it according to you?” He Never really replied after that. On the other hand, I didn’t always thought about it but like I wanted to break up with him, but kind of not too. so I prepared a text in my notes , where I explained what was going through my mind and what I didn’t like about our relationship, that I hope that I will be able to send him someday but I didn’t have enough courage to send it. After that last message, that last text, I decided that it was the right moment to send it and I did and every since he never really responded I was still left on delivered so I don’t know if he saw it but I’m pretty sure he did but just didn’t reply to me. And recently, I remembered that I gave him my favorite book so I asked him if he could give it back to me because it’s actually very precious to me. So he asked me when and I gave him a day and since then he haven’t been responding.
what should I do? Was it too immature of me

OP posts:
Robertplantgoddess · 23/09/2023 10:33

Not immature. To be honest and sounding harsh it doesnt sound like the relationship you hoped it was. All the effort was from you. Hopefully he will meet up and give you your book and then ypu can find someone who has time for you , if that's what you want. For my thoughts i would embrace college and all the opportunities you can whilst you only have to think about yourself.

Lionessbecca · 23/09/2023 10:37

I don’t think it’s immature of you from reading this he just doesn’t either seem interested or he is really is not ready for a relationship . 24 hours not reply is just no interest at all I think but when you say he doesn’t respond for an hour also is that when he is at work or college or and did he message you quicker before that and you’ve seen a change ? He just doesn’t seem interested to me

Goldenemmma · 23/09/2023 10:40

.

OP posts:
Goldenemmma · 23/09/2023 10:41

Robertplantgoddess · 23/09/2023 10:33

Not immature. To be honest and sounding harsh it doesnt sound like the relationship you hoped it was. All the effort was from you. Hopefully he will meet up and give you your book and then ypu can find someone who has time for you , if that's what you want. For my thoughts i would embrace college and all the opportunities you can whilst you only have to think about yourself.

he doesn’t really say anything and comes back later but I assume that he was at work cause he finishes a little late.

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 23/09/2023 10:48

Not immature, but unmet expectations on your side and lack of interest from his side.
In future l would say try to date someone who matches your energy so it's not so one sided.You were doing all the work here! l do hope you get your book back though.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 23/09/2023 10:56

I'm confused, is your OP about 2 separate men who you've been dating, and both are fading you out? You dated one for 3 months and one for 4 months?

Goldenemmma · 23/09/2023 11:05

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 23/09/2023 10:56

I'm confused, is your OP about 2 separate men who you've been dating, and both are fading you out? You dated one for 3 months and one for 4 months?

No no I only dated one guy for about 3-4 months

OP posts:
delphi13 · 23/09/2023 11:45

I'm sorry to say, he's just not interested. It has nothing to do with texts, you were not his priority in anyway and he just used you when he felt like it. Do not accept breadcrumbs from men in the future. You are worth more than this.

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