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Original poster

Son and fiance

11 replies

Thedogscollar · 23/09/2023 04:22

I found out tonight that my son and fiance are ending their relationship. They have a 2 Yr old son who I absolutely adore.

To say I am upset is an understatement I just feel so sad for all of them. They want different things apparently and will remain friends and co-parent their son.

They plan to stay in their rented accommodation as this works better for them financially. They have the tenancy for the next 9 months then I don't know their plans re living arrangements.

I can't sleep for thinking about it all. I often childmind for my gs whilst his parents are at work. I'd be devastated if I lost contact with my dil and gs as I love them very much.

I'm worried about my son as previous to this his life was turbulent he then met K and within 3 months she was pregnant. I was so worried then as my son was only 20 and I felt it was too much too soon but he settled down quickly with K. He then settled into a job he loves and is still doing. I'm just concerned he will go back to the life he led before when he was an older teenager.

I'm concerned for my lovely dil as that's how I see her. She is the loveliest, kindest girl and has been so good for my son. I will always want to be part of her life and my dear gs. I don't know why I'm posting, just wondered if anyone else has experienced this. I don't want to say the wrong thing to anyone I'm just so upset by this news.

OP posts:
Ilovelifeverymuch · 23/09/2023 04:57

@Thedogscollar so sorry to hear about your son and DIL splitting up, she sounds like a lovely young women who you have grown to love.

The only thing you can do is continue to support them and your grandchild. It would be nice to try to maintain a relationship with your DIL especially with your grandchild in the picture, hopefully your son doesn't get upset with you for trying to as I've seen some situations where parents are forced to pick a side. Maintaining a relationship with her doesn't mean you don't love or support your son so hopefully he is matured enough to understand that.

I hope they can have an amicable split for the sake of their child and come to a reasonable co-parenting agreement.

And hopefully your son has outgrown his past shenanigans. He is older now and still a father so I doubt he will go back to that life.

Original poster
Thedogscollar · 23/09/2023 05:13

@Ilovelifeverymuch
Thank you so much for your lovely response. Yes I definitely want to maintain contact with my dil and gs and I know she wants this too.

I'm hopeful that my son will stay on track with his life and not revert to his former lifestyle. He has matured and is now and holding down a job. At 23 yrs old I'm hopeful he will continue to mature and stay on track.

Breakups are always so sad especially when children are involved but my dgs is the most loved and precious little boy who will always be a priority for me.

OP posts:
LunaMay · 23/09/2023 05:21

Hopefully it will all work out OP. That they're planning to remain friends is a good sign things won't get too bitter. Just continue offering support to both (you sound lovely).

Original poster
Thedogscollar · 23/09/2023 05:31

Thank you @LunaMay
Yes they intend to stay friends which is a good thing and still love each other. I can only be there when they need me. I just want them to be happy.

OP posts:
autienotnaughty · 23/09/2023 07:07

Continue to stay in touch and support your dil I'm sure she will appreciate it

SofiYol · 23/09/2023 07:22

I would text your DIL and tell her exactly what you’ve said here, that you love her very much, you’re there for her too and you want her in your life. I’m sure she’d appreciate it, you sound so lovely x

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/09/2023 07:28

You can't control what he does. You can be warm, kind and available to both of them and carry on being family. You'll still be a granny, you seem to really like DIL.

perfectcolourfound · 23/09/2023 07:45

I've been divorced for decades and still consider my ex MIL 'family' and vice versa. If you get along it's perfectly possible to maintain a good relationship.

Original poster
Thedogscollar · 23/09/2023 10:27

Thank you all for your responses. Yes I will always be there for them. They are all family and I love them all dearly. I just need to accept this is their decision and to support them however I can.

OP posts:
worriedma1 · 23/09/2023 10:31

I can tell by your post what a lovely mum/grandma you are. Continue with what you are doing and I'm sure you will all find a positive a way forward Smile

rwalker · 23/09/2023 11:17

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having an honest chat with the pair of them

tell the pair of them even though they’ve split up u intend to have them in your life

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