I need help. My husband is wonderful, but there are little things I’ve asked him to do that would help the house run better (at least I think so). We have four kids and I’m at home with them. The things I’ve asked are to keep surfaces as clear as possible and remove clutter if it builds up (I only ask him to clear his own clutter), take rubbish and kids’ bags in from the car if he’s bringing them home, ask the kids to tidy up after themselves/clear the table after themselves if I’m not there for a meal, stack dirty dishes next to the sink instead of all over the benchtop (we have no dishwasher), keeping dirty clothes in a basket instead of wherever he or whichever kid he’s undressing happened to be standing. We have a very small house and if we’re not on top of mess and clutter it becomes unmanageable. We have been having these conversations for years and years. He will not change. He says he will, and then he doesn’t. I honestly think these things just don’t bother him so he doesn’t care. I take that as a sign of disrespect since these things don’t take long to do and make the house easier to maintain. I have given up, honestly, and I am trying to take responsibility for these tasks myself and stop interpreting it as disrespect. I am struggling not to get angry. Can anybody offer insight into accepting what you think are flaws in your partner but are actually just different standards or priorities?