how long did it take you to get over a narcissist?

[catsandplants]

was with narcissist for 13 months - he lived with me and we broke up last week. I have hugely hurt his ego by exposing him to the other girls and his family (he was cheating on me with ex partner, who he cheated on and also cheated on partner before so been cheating and lying for 7 years+) so we’re not talking minus sorting out our flat!

How long did you all take to get over a narc? I’m aware we were only together a year and no kids (but lived together from 4 weeks in - classic love bombing) I’m desperate to start feeling better but rn it feels so heavy :(

Well done for exposing the arsewipe! I didn't live with mine and only together a short time but they still managed to hurt me a lot. I think that when you are a kind honest and caring person it really shakes you to realise how nasty and vindictive these men can be.

I don't think mine was a narcissistic but he has a personality disorder and was abusive. We split 10 days ago, once I got past the first week I did start to feel a bit better, it's the loneliness I'm struggling with the most and trying my hardest not to be an idiot and reach out to him. I also started counselling, I've had 2 sessions now and Evan just that first session made a huge differnce for me!

I don't really have much more advice to offer as I'm still early stages myself at the minute. My inbox is open though if you fancy swapping stories and having a rant 😅 I've actually found that to help me quite alot as other people validating my feelings makes me feel that I'm right to not attempt contact etc..

A very, very long time unfortunately. Years. I look back now and think bloody hell he wouldn't get through the door if I met him now. He was so mentally abusive. But at the time oh my word, the wreck he reduced me to was shocking. I take zero shit from anyone now. I don't know whether that's because of who I developed into naturally or because we are what people make us. I suspect the latter.

Best thing you can do is keep learning about narcissists. There will come a point where they just feel...slimey. It clicks that the them you like wasn't even real. That they're essentially monsters in human suits. And then getting over them is much easier.

As soon as I realised that he was playing a character, him as an individual didn't exist.

I think they take the innocence away, so you'll never be the person you were before you met them. I hate my ex for that.

Marriage over a decade with children, emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive. Was hard at first like coming off a drug but six months down I'm getting there. Still have random majorly strong pulls of wanting to go back but short lived.

Loneliness is the hardest part, especially when you were isolated and became dependent. I don't really know what to do with myself...feels weird doing whatever I want.

It's insidious, entire relationship was a lie, playing a character. A new character has emerged now and I can't even walk away I'm having to chase and fight mine for the childrens sake.

Aw it’s a nightmare. I separated with my ex partner of almost 9 years with kids.
I realised something was wrong a few years ago so didn’t get married.
now trying to deal with with the different characters played trying to show he loves the kids when before we split, didn’t care. It’s just awful there are people like this 😢

It takes as long as it takes. You'll get there as long as you keep reminding yourself that there is nothing but envy and hate behind those eyes.

This.

Once you realise they are empty shells and hate themselves you can move on.

Also just remember the love bomb person was not real, just designed to drag you in. The shitty side of him is who he really is