Would you wait around for this?

[Anawana]

Hi all,

Just want your opinion on this as I'm struggling to make a decision.

Early 2022, I (30F) broke up from my ex. We had a good amount of deposit saved up for a house, which we split. The house market wasn't doing great and shortly after came interest rate increases so despite wanting to buy a house on my own, I held off.

I met a gentleman (35M) in January and we hit it off. We would like to move in together at some point soon.

Trouble is, he lives in a house he bought with his ex partner. She moved out last November (relationship ended a few months before that) and hasn't contributed to mortgage payments since... For us to move in together, we need this house to sell obviously. However the house is on sale since December last year but they had only 2 viewings. The price is clearly too high.

His ex refuses price reduction because doesn't want to end up in negative equity, which is fair enough. But unless they reduce the price, they won't be able to sell. My ex recently admitted that he also doesn't want to reduce the price and lose money. Even though he does lose money each month paying her half too!

I understand it's not financially feasible for him to push for the price reduction, but I live near him on my own in London, one of the most expensive areas in the UK. I can't afford to buy a place here by myself and my rent is extortionate. It also isn't financially feasible for me to keep paying for my landlord's mortgage instead of mine.

I can move to a more affordable area and climb on the property leader soon, especially we have no clue how long the house sale will take. It may take a year or even more in this climate!

What would you do if you were me? I do love this guy but the future looks very uncertain. Would you wait for the sake of the potential of this relationship or move on with your life? Thanks.

Finances are not a reason to combine households. It’s way too soon to buy together and it’s really too soon to rent together given all the other circumstances.

prioritize your own independent housing.

Not much in here about your feelings for him as opposed to how good this relationship would be for your bottom line. Which isn't even that surprising because it's only been a year and you seem to be moving way too fast! I get that the insane housing market in this country can encourage couples to do this, though. But the two of you can't make each other responsible for solving the other's housing issues.

I don't know how urgently you feel you need to get on the housing ladder, that depends on your financial situation, but if that's what's best for you as an individial I'd do that.

That's because when he told me that he doesn't want to lose money, it made me think I'm also losing money each month by renting! Hence the post. The feelings are definitely there, as I mention in my post I do love him. Otherwise I would've moved away already months ago.

I understand people saying not to rush, but I believe living with someone is the best way to get to know someone. It won't be be-all and end-all once we do. We can still say it doesn't work out but at least we will have the opportunity to observe. I'm 30 years old and my last relationship of 6 years ended less than a year after we moved in. I could've saved myself a lot of headache and time if we did it earlier in the relationship.