Coparenting 6 week old baby struggles

[LD233]

Just looking for some advice. I have a 6 week nearly 7 week old baby and I'm having issues with his father.
Me and his father split when I was 16 weeks pregnant where he cheated on me and left me for his ex girlfriend who he's now in a relationship with who he already has another son with.

He was seeing him regularly to start with even though its been so difficult for me after how much he's hurt me however he's cancelled quite a few times on him already and is trying to say he will have him some weekends and he wants to take my baby away - he lives 40 miles away.
I said no he's way too young and he needs regular consistent visits at his home which my mom is facilitating as he's still a newborn baby!

He said he will do what he wants with him in his time and he will be taking him everytime he sees him
I don't trust this person as he has lied to me so so much and I dont want my son separated from me especially 40 miles away!

He's cancelled next weekend seeing our son as he's booked a weekend away wirh his girlfriend also.

He said he's not a newborn anymore so he can go with him (he's 7 weeks old on Saturday!)

He said if not he won't be seeing him as he's not seeing him here anymore.
I am struggling so much doing this on my own and he's trying to demand its his way or no way

I just don't know what to do anymore I'm stuck. I already know I won't have a social life much as he is inconsistent already and refuses to have him here if I want to go out.

I am struggling with post partunmdepression and this situation is making me feel 10 times worse. Also struggle seeing him or speaking to him after whar he's put me through. My head is a complete mess and I feel like a failure the way my mental health is declining

Great decision OP x

First off op I just want to say to you are not a failure, you are doing an amazing job in difficult circumstances, your t**t of an ex is not making things any easier for you and I don't know what planet he is on but at 7 weeks old your DC,is absolutely a newborn, let him carry out his threat not to see him if he don't get his own way,your DC will be much better off and so will your mental health, clearly he has a mummy who wants the best for him and has so much love to give that's enough OP,your doing amazing, strong and capable keep telling yourself that OP

Well done OP.

The proposals you made for contact were perfectly reasonable and in line with what the court would order.
Claim cms and get on with your life. You’re doing a great job

@Burntouted

How is it offensive to say that he could possibly gain rights if he were to get a lawyer and take her to court, that if there is a court order for custody op can lose custody all together if she denies him.

It may not be offensive, but it's completely unnecessary scaremongering given how the OP has described the problem.

@Burntouted
What are you on about?
Of course OP should be offering contact. But she has. Loads of frequent short bursts if the baby is 6-7 weeks old and the father has spent some time with them and also canceled 10times.
Courts would not rule that a newborn be separated from their mother for entire weekends. That would be the end point to work up to for when the baby is one or two years old.
If the father continues to threaten to take the baby away then OP may have no choice but to go through court. Which if things get too adversarial might mean that there is little to no contact in the meantime.
OP, could you think about a schedule where you work towards weekends away with Dad but at a pace that makes sense for a baby? So continuing visits at home for now, working towards walks at the park with dad and you stay home in a couple of months time, with the time away increasing as baby gets older - building to whole afternoons on a Saturday say sometime between 6 and12 months and then whole days and overnights sometime between 12months and 2years.
He’s blocked you now but that absolutely would be a reasonable offer of contact.
Offer to do mediation first before talking about court. It’s a requirement anyway.

Well done. You are doing a great job. Put in a claim for CMS as soon as you can. He has an obligation to support his child even if he doesn't visit.

No I wouldn’t let him take baby on his away until at least 6 months, maybe longer. If he wants to say well I won’t see him at all then so let him do that.