Mum makes everything about her .. but not on purpose

[MoodyMum94]

Not really 'relationships' in the sense of partner but my mother in law. She is a wicked mum, she helps us out when needed and is there for us.

She has such 'dramatic' reactions to things, when it's not even her issue. She gets quite suffocating just trying to help. I had a heated argument with my partner and he went to stay there for breathing space. I was still very angry (I'm 7 months pregnant and have a 3 year old so everything is magnified). She asked me how I felt while I was having a conversation with my husband over WhatsApp and I just said I'm really upset and angry, I don't know what to do with him etc etc. she started driving to my house and that he had said it was fine. I said I didn't want that as I didn't want it to look like she was taking my side. It was quite heated with my husband, plus our daughter was being a 3 year old (not her fault, was just overwhelming having it all on my shoulders). I lost my temper and said to his mother while you're here, take his stuff then. I'll get packed.

She then had a panic attack and had to call an ambulance as got in such a state that she got intense physical symptoms (I have had panic attacks for 15 years so I understand they're horrendous and scary). I went there because I felt guilty that I had caused it. She was an absolute mess when I got there, paramedics also there. My husband then came in and we finally had a calm conversation and all is well with us. But I couldn't help but think... what the fuck??? It's not like it was on purpose it was a very real reaction but jesus why

Dearie me, she does sound dramatic.

If she doesn't have form for being OTT, then I'd think this was a one off caused by worries about the state of your relationship.

If this is a pattern of behaviour then I think you would be mad to try to rely on her for any form on emotional support. She is incapable of giving it.

My mum is also incapable of giving emotional support. She is not dramatic in the least, but very much "you made your bed, you lie in it". I have had to realise that I can't rely on her for emotional support because she doesn't know how to give it. You may need to come to the same realisation about your MIL.

Interesting - my own mum was similar to yours, but in her older years she's becoming more open to it. Mother in law is great for simple things but anything that comes to her son she seems to go into melt down which has sadly made him very withdrawn and holding on to a lot of issues, which as we all know leads to even more problems

You need a blanket- 'this is between him and me.' Statement.

Tell him he needs to leave her out of it, he's an adult, he doesn't need mummy to fix things for him.

For her own good, that should have said!

Think you're right. It was my fault getting her involved, I was worried about him due to what caused the argument but she became far too intertwined with it