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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I go there again.... so undecided.

3 replies

plasticframe · 21/09/2023 13:52

Long story short and name changed to boot, my exp and I are back in contact after 10 months being nc.
We broke up rather acrimoniously when I had enough of his self absorbed behaviours following g a traumatic event in both our lives but he certainly fared less well.
He was depressed and very much in victim mode. He had every reason to be . It was awful for him especially.
He has since spent lots of time in therapy and tells me he is a new man, a changed man and is excited about life again.
He does have a new job and is back to management role and driving after a long period of my being able.
However, he still' sounds' miserable, half depressed, low and flat tone and a poor me type thing but pretending to be humble and self deprecating.
I can't even explain it.
It's like woe is me, life is so awful for me etc.
I really thought he'd passed this stage and had stepped back into the mature, grown ass man he was pre event.
He was happy for
Me to' mind him' essentially waiting on him hand and foot while he lay about watching g tv all day long when unwell, despite no physical reason why he couldnt help out.
He's promises me the world , but a voice note yesterday reminded me of that poor me tone in his voice and I felt a change in my feelings towards him. He often says 'I'll be fine, don't worry about me' in a sad and somber tone .
He is used to me fawning over him
From illness. He knows how that I have no interest Anything but equal partnership now that's he's better.
Something is telling me that despite his words, his expectations differ.
Would I be mad to consider reconnecting?

OP posts:
Iamclearlyamug · 21/09/2023 13:53

Yes. And deep down you know it. Keep moving on

OhComeOnFFS · 21/09/2023 13:58

Oh god, why would you even consider this? I am picturing him like Dobby in Harry Potter. Awful - surely you'd cringe just thinking about getting back with him?

plasticframe · 21/09/2023 16:27

That is the way I'm
Feeling at the moment. I dearly love him but I feel from our conversations that he's having a bit of a pity party and I'm not goi g back there again. I just can't .

OP posts:
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