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Original poster

Partner in Amsterdam

48 replies

Champagneponies · 21/09/2023 09:17

My partner is away on a football trip and last night they have spent the night in Amsterdam. I wished him well and to have fun and he's messaged me at midnight and 1am with lovely messages.

I know he's gonna be getting high etc. However one of my work colleagues keeps saying he will have definitely slept with a prostitute last night. 😶

This hasn't crossed my mind before. But she keeps saying that's the only reason they will have been there.

Am I being terrible naive? Or is she mental..

I don't think he would do that

OP posts:
Olika · 21/09/2023 13:47

Your colleague is weird. Just ignore her.

MyusernameABC · 21/09/2023 13:48

Your colleague is mental and has no justification for saying that other than their own experience or preconceived ideas. Yes prostitution is there, if you want it. But it's quite easy to enjoy yourself, relax and fun there with friends without it whatsoever. Unless your partner gives you something to worry about you have nothing to worry about. There's dozens of city break destinations where prostitution isn't legal, or whatever the legal status in Amsterdam, and if you want to pay for it, you can, and easily.

TheaBrandt · 21/09/2023 13:53

I would think it for Thailand(but wouldn’t be rude enough to say so) but not Amsterdam. It’s a relatively close by attractive city with lots to do. We had a work conference there. Actually thinking about it Dh has a client there he visits occasionally wouldn’t occur to me to fret he would be pervy! He isn’t like that and he could see a prostitute here if he wanted to (hopefully not) He always goes to the Rijks museum tho.

SirenSays · 21/09/2023 14:02

She sounds bizarre, I'd guess she doesn't get out much. DH and I have been to Amsterdam and Thailand many times, both together and separately. Neither of us, nor any of our friends, paid for sex whilst there. Most normal people don't.

HalfSpoon · 21/09/2023 14:39

I've been a few times and not even considered it.

I wouldn't worry too much about it - seemed to me to be more like a tourist attraction than anything else.

We did go to a sex show once. It was really boring.

Buttoutofmywedding · 21/09/2023 15:21

She's an idiot. I had one like this. Mouthy, attention seeking and desperate to appear interesting and edgy.

Boyfriend randomly sent flowers. "he's cheating on you."

Boyfriend sent me flowers on vday "how tacky"

Boyfriend didn't "cheapskate"

Different boyfriends to colleagues by the way, just giving comparisons.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/09/2023 18:16

I don't think you should be friends with her or let her know anything about your life

IvorTheEngineDriver · 21/09/2023 19:25

I have been to Amsterdam on 5 occssions OP, without my DW, and have never slept with a prostitute on any of them.

Your friend has a nasty mind I am afraid.

ConfessionsOfAMumDramaQueen · 21/09/2023 22:11

Yeah ... colleague has issues. Probably either no partner or a very unhealthy relationship too.

I was going to say it wouldn't even cross my mind if my DH went to Amsterdam ... but then again my DH hates football, wouldn't do drugs legal or not (barely even drinks tbh) and has a guilt complex. So I can't really picture him ending up there in the first place!

If theres no red flags, he's messaging you like normal. He seems engaged with you, texting you before bed and in morning. You're clearly on his mind before he sleeps and were again when he woke up. Sounds fine to me.

littleripper · 21/09/2023 22:33

Tell her not to judge others by her own standards. Next time she goes away ask if she is hiring a prostitute on her travels.

Blinky21 · 21/09/2023 22:53

I went to Amsterdam and managed not to sleep with a prostitute, I'm sure others can too

Thisisworsethananticpated · 22/09/2023 20:42

Blinky21

I know 🙈
i used to have loads of dull work trips there
it’s as grey as the Uk but like it !
prostitutes weren’t even on my radar

again colleague is nasty

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 22/09/2023 20:54

or he might be wandering around the Rijksmuseum learning about Rembrandt, christ give him a chance

KirstHD1 · 23/09/2023 22:37

I would not worry about it. From people I have talked to it is common for men visiting Amsterdam to have sex with a sex worker because it is so easy to do it. If he wants to do it let him get it out of his system. At least he is not having an affair. And she will make sure he wears a condom so it will be all safe.

determinedtomakethiswork · 23/09/2023 22:48

I'd love it if he came to your workplace and asked her to repeat what she told you.

perfectcolourfound · 24/09/2023 16:14

Your colleague sounds nasty.

She clearly doesn't know your DP as well as you know him. Nor does she have very much experience of people visiting Amsterdam. So you can ignore what she's saying.

Either she is a nasty person (and if so you'll have noticed this on other occasions if you've worked with her a while) - in which case you know not to engage in future.

Or, she's had a really horrible experience relating to being cheated on (or she's been the cheater) and thinks everyone's like that. Even if that's the case, she's wrong to project that on to you and to go out of her way to upset and worry you.

So, either way - keep a wide distance in future.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/09/2023 16:40

SirenSays · 21/09/2023 14:02

She sounds bizarre, I'd guess she doesn't get out much. DH and I have been to Amsterdam and Thailand many times, both together and separately. Neither of us, nor any of our friends, paid for sex whilst there. Most normal people don't.

Years ago I researched some statistics for Thailand. It made sobering reading. A majority of single men who go do engage in buying sex. Prostitution is very very available. Much more available than Amsterdam and much less regulated. Added to which all the issues with age and consent in Thailand.

Comparing Amsterdam and Thailand is apples and oranges.

I've been to both and love both places. But pretending sex tourism isn't a very major thing in Thailand is foolish.

Oysterbabe · 24/09/2023 16:42

My husband is off to Amsterdam to watch football next month and this hadn't even crossed my mind, I know he wouldn't do it.
You know your partner OP, don't worry about it.

DawnBreaks · 11/10/2023 08:15

I just read this to my husband and his reply was, he wouldn't touch any of them with a barge pole, even if he was single and desperate!

PS. Your work colleague is a total bitch!!

JumalanTerve · 11/10/2023 11:23

Your colleague is being completely paranoid and it's not fair for her to project her feelings into you. For what it's worth, I'm sure it happens with some men but I've been on maybe 20 stag dos in my life, with varying levels of laddishness, and not once has anyone on any of them even spoken about wanting to pay for sex

LostThestral · 11/10/2023 12:21

she sounds completely immature & trying to cause trouble.

I've been there several times & we always pop into the red light district as it's interesting & quite a fun night out. Neither myself or DH have felt we have to sleep with one of the workers or even found ourselves in any of the seedier bars.

Mari9999 · 11/10/2023 12:29

@Champagneponies
Do you trust your colleague's opinion more than you trust your husband's behavior?

Why are you continuing to over share with your colleague? Nothing good seems to be coming from these conversations.

NeedHelp000 · 11/10/2023 12:35

Ignore your silly colleague!!
What an idiot

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