Realising he was a Narcassist

[Feelingbad23]

Have recently come out what I suspect was a relationship with a narcasist after a lot of research he ticks every box

Originally thought it was bi polar but now see narc is more fitting along with what i consider alcahol issues

Have been through the idealise, devalue discard phase numerous times since we had kids. He left many times but always came back. This time he hasn'tamd seems to be living it up and
I'll admit I did ask back more than once I fed his ego he loved it. Definitely think a trauma bond was there. Been 4 months out and although part of me wants the comfort of what I had back the other part of me is now realising life is a lot more peaceful with him gone.

I had one session of counselling and am waiting for another appointment.

Has anyone been through similar and come out the other side also co parenting with someone like this how do you do it. So far everything is a battle. He is Mr nice guy to everyone else but to me.

Yep, im now 9 months out of an 18 year relationship with a functioning alcoholic narcissist. I had therapy until I had exhausted myself. It's been really tough and still is. I feel broken by it all. It's a tough road to travel.

@omgsally wow 18 years! At least your free now ❤️ mine was 6. It is mad how you only start to see it once you are out. Its like you are looking the person from the start! Do you think therapy helped I dont know if I want to go back again I found it very uncomfortable and the therapist mentioned she was hearing a lot about him and mot a lot about me which put me off! So many ref flags when I look back now

The therapy did help. She didn't tell me anything I didn't know but she was really kind and that in itself was just a tonic for me because I'd been so starved of any kindness or regard. I just talked until I got sick of hearing the sound of my own voice and had nothing else to say. It was just a release really mixed with validation. Why did it put you off your therapist? It's really important to find the right person for you.

I'm currently going through similar and I'm only almost 2 weeks out so I don't have much advice to offer but I understand the conflicted feelings. Also had my first counselling session last week and I'm currently sat here now waiting for my 2nd to start. This is the first time I've turned to counselling about this so I'm really hoping this will help me cut the rope. Is it the first time you have bothered to try counselling?