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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Was this flirting?

8 replies

AsYou82 · 20/09/2023 19:59

I recently met a man in a professional environment who was sent by a company to assist me with something. It was unplanned, random and we are highly unlikely to meet again as we have no reason to. We didn’t exchange any personal details.

I have a partner who I Iove very much and treats me very respectfully. He is an amazing caring interesting guy. This is why I am feeling strange and questioning whether I overstepped a line.

The guy I met was visually striking, not that he was some handsome sex god, that’s not it, but his presence and appearance was intriguing. He was chatty, confident, funny and friendly and went out of his way to help me with extra things he didn’t need to.

During this time we got chatting a little and all of a sudden it was like we had a connection. We shared with each other all different kinds of viewpoints, life experiences and genuine interest in our respective careers and made each other laugh. It was not blatant flirting or banter, I would have felt uncomfortable if it was sexual or a come on. When we reached the natural end of our interaction we just said goodbye and left.

It felt so strange and fascinating to have a random instant connection with a stranger I keep thinking about it. He was so intriguing but I don’t know why? Is something missing or is this just one of those weird strange things that happens sometimes? It’s never happened to me before.

I feel bad about being intrigued and enjoying this conversation though. My partner knows about the interaction but not about the details and I wasn’t planning on explaining it to him.

OP posts:
MsCactus · 20/09/2023 20:07

I had this recently at a wedding - ended up chatting to a random guy about our dreams, desires, etc etc. Really clicked, but I'm married (and very happily).

This has happened to me quite a lot tbh. As long as you don't overstep the mark with flirting, and you don't then pursue it, I just see it as a nice part of life. Meeting men you fancy and having a spark with them. It's fun.

SmileyClare · 20/09/2023 20:10

Look you got on well/ connected with someone. It doesn’t matter if he had a penis does it? No need for angst- this wasn’t betraying your partner.

Even if you felt a spark and fancied him, you didn’t act on it because you’re in a relationship. And obviously you have some self control and a conscience!

In the same way, Im sure your dp fancies other women sometimes and doesn’t act on it. It’s human nature.

No need to feel guilty x

HappyHamstersinHats81 · 20/09/2023 20:21

Could be flirting or maybe you’re just two people who connected ….. having a connection doesn’t always mean it needs to be a sexual connection. If it was a woman (assuming you’re a straight woman) would you assume it was flirting then….

That said, I’ll flirt with anyone willing….. not (normally) because I fancy them etc. I just like connecting with people, I like to know about other people. So I’m smiley, curious, I actively listen, I’m genuinely engaged in conversation etc…all typical flirty things…..so alas I am a massive flirt with anyone and everyone!

DosCervezas · 20/09/2023 20:37

This happens occasionally. It's a joy that sometimes you can just meet a person and click straight away. I think it's irrelevant whether they are male or female unless there was physical attraction, but you only go as far as intriguing looks! You could possibly be great friends if you knew how to get in touch. It is allowed.

AsYou82 · 20/09/2023 20:48

Thanks sounds like it’s just one of those weird fun things. from my side on reflection it wasn’t just someone interesting, I did find his physical presence attractive. He was unusual not someone you meet every day. Really tall quirky and striking. The way he helped me was also nice.

I didn’t and would not do anything about it though!

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 20/09/2023 21:07

He probably has a lot of women admiring him/ finding him attractive, based on your description.

He sounds like one of those rare nice guys with great charisma and energy- I’d probably fancy him a bit too 🤣

No judgement from me

Anastasia2 · 26/02/2024 17:38

What particular things make you ask if it was flirting? I've just re read your subject topic but you haven't pinpointed anything in your OP that reads he was flirting?

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 26/02/2024 17:44

Anastasia2 · 26/02/2024 17:38

What particular things make you ask if it was flirting? I've just re read your subject topic but you haven't pinpointed anything in your OP that reads he was flirting?

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