So not to drip feed, DM (70) has always been a heavy drinker and a bad drunk. Not a daily drinker but the kind that maybe around once a week would always get incredibly drunk - think not making sense, stumbling, refusing to get out of taxis and very often angry.
She’s a complex person - kind in so many ways, hard working but difficult and I suppose after a difficult marriage, has always felt hard done by (in many ways she was)
She’s the kind dichotomy whereby she will cook wholesome meals for her families health but heavily smoke around her frequently hospitalised asthmatic children.
She raised us alone, had a home secure but had to work hard for anything beyond the basics.
I think we (I probably more than brothers) are reasonably good to her. Lots of mini breaks, brought on holiday lots of times etc.
However her behaviour with alcohol has become intolerable. Every family meal is ruined with her complaining that we keep interrupting her ( we don’t it’s just a normal conversation flow) and she gets incredibly drunk and starts acting aggressively.
It was the same this summer on holiday (which I paid for) when I suggested that after 2 days of her heavy drinking she might go to bed rather than sit up drinking heavily and listening to music again.
I know she feels lonely and the sad thing is that we are all spending less time with her as she gets more difficult - she sees nothing as her fault. Her own siblings and her friends are also keeping their distance.
The end result is even more loneliness.
Has anyone dealt with this and do you have any suggestions ?