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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

How to get the strength.

4 replies

lifestoosho · 19/09/2023 18:57

I am being gaslighted. I know I am and it's escalating. It is not me wondering if I am, I 100% am.

How did you get the strength to just tell a gaslighting DP to go? This is what I just can't seem to do. I am absolutely heartbroken and clinging on to the fact this may get better. Any advice to give me a kick up the butt to be strong enough is very welcome?

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 19/09/2023 18:58

Have you asked him outright why he's talking crap?

Freezingcoldinseptember · 19/09/2023 18:59

Take it from The Experienced Many that it absolutely won't get better?
Imagine your dd /dsis /bff was in your relationship... Would you wish this life on them? Imagine peace of mind in your life op. You can have it in your new life op. Trust me.

Fleetheart · 19/09/2023 19:00

ask yourself would I do this to anyone? and when the answer will invariably be no; make the decision to get rid. why would you put up with this?

Mmhmmn · 19/09/2023 20:16

A person is either someone who gaslights others (usually partners) or they're not.

You've got someone that is, and that spells an unhappy future for you because they don't grow out of it. It's who they are.

You can try to explain to them the effects of their actions but it's futile because people who gaslight don't see a problem with their behaviour and/or actively enjoy it and are very adept at rebutting accusations and arguing.

Flip