4 yr old not ready for school!

[Thefirstime]

My DS just started school and it’s not going quite well.

he is refusing to go in every morning and extremely tired.

he wants to stay at home and play and be with me.

socially and emotionally he isn’t quite ready.

I dropped him off this morning and he got in such a fluster, the teacher was asking him what to do.. he followed instructions but struggled and burst into tears.

he has cried a lot since starting only 2 weeks ago - not sure what to do?!

I spoke to a mum yesterday who said he DD was the same and they pulled her out for 2 years (presumably to home educate) then she went back later, aged 7 and was more ready..

any advice greatly appreciated!!

There used to be a staggered start for kids and it was so much better for many IME. When it changed there were so many more kids upset every day at our local school. I'd have him doing half days - ds was in the last year that had staggered starts and had a half term of half days, it was a blessing for him but he still fell asleep in some of the afternoons when he went full time.

I really do think the best thing is to keep going, don't hang around too long at drop off, wave him off with a big smile, be really positive about school etc. It's a big change and it just takes some children longer to get used to it than others.

Finally someone with common sense!
He will get used to it. Thousands of kids go to school every year. They’re not all traumatized.
Treating him like a mamby pamby will do him no favors.

I sent my son to school and he’s the youngest in his class. I’d rather he went in at 4.5 than 5.5. I did the same with his elder brother and he’s now in P6 and thriving. The youngest cried almost every day going in but is absolutely fine once in. It’s not an option to stay at home every day, and it isn’t the school that’s the issue it’s being away from me. I don’t think you should even consider home schooling you’re nowhere near that stage. I know another parent who’s son literally cried every day for 2 years going in to nursery !

I used to cry most days before nursery, and school for the first year.

I then cried most days again at 11 because the switch to high school was overwhelming.

I got used to it. I'm not traumatized. I made friends.

The same will happen for your son. If you pull him out now and send him back in year one, he won't have a little friendship group. He may be behind socially as a result. Just give it time

To be honest, he’s highly
sensitive and quite attached to myself and dad! It doesn’t help that all the other kids in his class have come up from the nursery, he’s the only new one in his class..

he’s very aware and sensitive to his environment - so far the school seems great, I just don’t think he’s clicked or made a close friend just yet he said they are more boring than his old nursery friends 😂

we’ll get there - just need to persist.. we’re being very positive about it!!

but he doesn’t like it and I need to accept that - he’s very capable and learning well..

im not one to rush him or invalidate anything.. developmentally it’s a long time away from main care givers at such a young age.. so I understand.. I’m not in a position to homeschool unfortunately