No contact with the in laws

[ShouldIstayOrShouldIgonowww]

My in laws are a bit strange, they regularly fall out with one & another and go no contact and then carry on like nothing has happened.

I get on with them all but just keep myself to myself for my own sake & kids sake really.
My MIL was borrowing my car but recently damaged it through being careless (think reversing it into a wall and saying she didn't see the wall when the parking sensors were going crazy and other silly mistakes & damages like cigarette burns!)
so as a result of her refusing to pay for damages, I took her off the insurance which in the mind of any normal person is fair game right?

She's now not spoken to me in two months. She's ignoring DH and DC.
She's turned the rest of DHs siblings against us too saying "oh poor me, I have no car to get around should I stay is being dramatic & mean!" She's ignored one of DCs birthdays.

My question is should I just leave her to get on with it like I have for the past two months? I feel like she'll only speak to me if I put her back on my car which won't be happening. DC keep asking why they haven't seen her and it's beginning to get to me, as I haven't done anything wrong.

I would go permanently very low or non contact. This is a really toxic environment for your children to be involved in and think is normal behaviour.

My advice would be to never put her back on the insurance and to maintain the distance that she has created.

The moment anyone subjected me to the silent treatment, my relationship with them would be over. It is horribly manipulative and abusive.

I wouldn’t tolerate this for myself, let alone for my children, who are too young to understand.

This is abusive and controlling behaviour. You and your children do not need this in your lives.

That's my thinking sadly she's the only family we have around here. The kids seem happier she's not around just been questioning as to why they've not seen her.
She's made family relations with dhs siblings really awkward too for no real reason.

Maybe we would just be better off without them all.

Tell the DC granny is having a tantrum after damaging mum’s car. I’d enjoy the break from the bunch of them and make it permanent. Bad inlaws are worse than no inlaws.

You would indeed be better off without your in-laws in your lives. Children need emotionally healthy grandparents and neither one here fit the bill. Give your children the age appropriate truth re your MIL. Keep all explanations short and to the point. Do not doubt your decision.

Would you have tolerated this re your car from a friend, unlikely so do not further tolerate it from people you are related to by marriage. Read about narcissistic personality disorder re your MIL as well as see how much of this fits in with her behaviour.

Can you imagine damaging someone's car like that, not once but several times, then not paying and blaming the owner? Don't teach your children you're not worthy of respect.

She fully fits the personality of a narcissist. She demanded a few days after mother days where her present & card was.... the day I got home with DC who nearly died in hospital all sorts of things really.

I don't miss her and her crazy dramatics, she'd regularly flounce out of my front door slamming it if she didn't get her own way and the such. Maybe dc are better off without risking her strange behaviour rubbing off onto them.

I would tell the DC the truth as a pp put it - granny is having a tantrum because she damaged my car so isn’t allowed to drive it anymore.
Don’t engage with her, leave her to it. At least you are all having some peace and quiet now. I would see it as a win.

The kids seem happier she's not around

Why would you even consider letting her back in. Listen to the lightness of your beings now.

Maybe dc are better off without risking her strange behaviour rubbing off onto them.

No maybe about it.

How I wish my parents had stopped letting my mum’s parents bringing awfulness into our lives.

I would just go no contact. She's using the silent treatment to try get her own way and it would be a bad example to set your children if you gave into her.

Let them see that when toxic people behave badly there are consequences and that not giving into their abusive behaviour is the way to go.

You'll also have a much more peaceful life not having to deal with her.

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