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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bumble verification code on fiancé’s phone

37 replies

Kim266 · 19/09/2023 09:56

My mind is all over the place because of something I found in my fiancé’s phone and I don’t know what to do.

Two days ago I was looking in his deleted folder for a text I’d sent but accidentally deleted. I was trying to register him for something. In the deleted items was a Bumble activation code. It said something like ‘your Bumble activation code is . don’t tell this to anyone’

I immediately started shaking and I couldn’t believe it. I handed him the phone and told him to explain the text. He said he couldn’t because it wasn’t him and he didn’t even know about it. He’s adamant that he didn’t ask for the code and that he hasn’t been trying to talk to other women.

I went on the App Store to see if Bumble was on his phone. It wasn’t but there was a cloud icon next to it. However I can’t draw any conclusions from that because he downloaded it first in 2020 before we met. We met on a dating app so I know he was using them in the past.

As an experiment I tried to download it on my phone but when deleted, it just showed the past date when I originally downloaded it. I don’t think there is a way I can prove it for sure.

I googled and apparently there is a Bumble verification bot, as others have said they’ve received verification codes from nowhere, but I’m sceptical because it’s never happened to me or anyone I know.

I can’t stop worrying about this. We are long distance at the moment so I’m not there all the time. He could be doing this and I’m unaware but he’s never done anything like this before.

does anyone know if it’s possible to receive a spam text like this with a verification code? Should I believe him?

OP posts:
SofiYol · 19/09/2023 10:01

If he had a verification code to his phone number the most likely explanation is that he entered his phone number on Bumble and received the code.

I’m sorry OP but I wouldn’t believe it was spam.

birker · 19/09/2023 10:02

I'd imagine it is possible it's a spam text.

But for it to be in his deleted folder I'd imagine he's seen it and deleted it? That could still be innocent but then why pretend to you he's never seen it and doesn't know about it?

If it happened to me and my DP seen it, I would explain it was spam and I deleted it. I wouldn't deny all knowledge

birker · 19/09/2023 10:06

I've used bumble in the past, before meeting DP so searched my messages. Screenshot attached so you can see if it's identical (mine is genuine so if it matches likely to be genuine but if it's a spam one it might be different).

Also - mine is from 2020 & 2021 so maybe someone else on here will be able to share a more recent one?

Bumble verification code on fiancé’s phone
Kim266 · 19/09/2023 10:13

@birker Thank you. It does match exactly, which isn’t a good sign :(

He seemed upset to think that I didn’t trust him. He kept saying ‘but I didn’t do this’. He said ‘how would they even think I was single because a photo of us is my WhatsApp photo?’ Yet bumble has a separate messenger so he’s either lying or genuinely clueless. I don’t know what to think.

OP posts:
Moonlightsonatas · 19/09/2023 10:14

The simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

BubziOwl · 19/09/2023 10:18

Kim266 · 19/09/2023 10:13

@birker Thank you. It does match exactly, which isn’t a good sign :(

He seemed upset to think that I didn’t trust him. He kept saying ‘but I didn’t do this’. He said ‘how would they even think I was single because a photo of us is my WhatsApp photo?’ Yet bumble has a separate messenger so he’s either lying or genuinely clueless. I don’t know what to think.

Is there a chance his account is still active despite him having the app deleted and not accessing it? It's possible someone has attempted to log in and been foiled by the 2FA?

However I'm not filled with confidence from what you say his arguments are here. Sounds like someone blustering...

Also I can't stand that he's trying to make you feel bad for not trusting him. Seeing a dating app text message on your partner's phone is a reasonable cause for concern.

sodthesodoff · 19/09/2023 10:19

Kim266 · 19/09/2023 10:13

@birker Thank you. It does match exactly, which isn’t a good sign :(

He seemed upset to think that I didn’t trust him. He kept saying ‘but I didn’t do this’. He said ‘how would they even think I was single because a photo of us is my WhatsApp photo?’ Yet bumble has a separate messenger so he’s either lying or genuinely clueless. I don’t know what to think.

Did he actually use bumble when he downloaded then? Because a cursory stroll around it would mean he knows this is bullshit

Can you see when the text was sent. I sometimes clear out old texts from years ago. Doesn't meant they're recent

Shannith · 19/09/2023 10:20

What @Moonlightsonatas said.

If it walks like a duck...

Is there a time stamp on the message - then you can see if it's 2020 or more recent.

Or go to settings>>general>>iPhone storage

It's lists all the apps on a phone (including those not used in a while - so those showing a cloud)

This will give you total proof of when he last used it.

Kim266 · 19/09/2023 10:20

It is recent. It was August 27th this year. It was the day after I went home from visiting him.

OP posts:
Kim266 · 19/09/2023 10:22

@Shannith I will check but I doubt it will work because he downloaded them all when I confronted him to ‘show me’ that he was telling the truth and there was no account on them. Now I’m thinking he did this to over ride any chance of the last time used showing up.

OP posts:
Shannith · 19/09/2023 10:23


© Royal
Last Used: 19/07/2023
Deliveroo
Last Used: 22/08/2023
138.5 MB >
136.9 MB >
moon pig
Messenger
Last Used: 17/09/2023
Moonpig
Last Used: 07/09/2023
Just Eat
Last Used: 01/04/2023
Calculator >
Last Used: 09/09/2023
Notes
Last Used: Yesterday
Tube Map
Last Used: 29/07/2023
4 Photobooks
Last Used: 29/06/2023
129.4 MB >
125.5 MB >
124.7 MB >
122.4 MB >
119.8 MB >

Shannith · 19/09/2023 10:24

Can't attach a photo but that's the info it shows

sodthesodoff · 19/09/2023 10:26

Sorry.

I'd download it on his phone. So you can see what the history is

But it's all a bit shitty. Why is he saying his photo on whatsapp is of you two? He met you on a dating app. He knows how they work. They ALL have a separate messaging function. To make it safer so random strangers don't get your number

Don't like how he's turned it on you not believing him either. A dating app notification is fair reason to be upset

Shapemyeyebrows · 19/09/2023 10:42

@Kim266 The most obvious answer is usually the correct one. Our minds wander to other scenarios because we want to believe there’s another explanation. The only other semi realistic one is it’s a scam text which he deleted but that’s ruled out by it being identical the the correct bumble text and also the fact he’s denying ever seeing it. He’s deleted that message but denying he did so, which means he’s downloaded bumble, deleted the verification code then denied all knowledge of it when confronted. Rather than saying yes I got this weird text the other day etc.

Ollifer · 19/09/2023 10:46

I've had this kinda scenario pop up with a couple of ex's. And the explanation has always been the most simple one unfortunately. And the fact that it was dated the day you went home from seeing him - when I found my ex on fab it was the day I'd driven home from staying with him for a few days.

Kim266 · 19/09/2023 10:47

I feel so gutted about it. I never had any sign. He has always been so lovely to me, made me feel happy and like he’s only ever had eyes for me. We are meant to be getting married next year and are planning the wedding. I can’t believe this. Why would he throw it all away over a dating app?

OP posts:
SamW98 · 19/09/2023 11:34

Sorry OP but he’s either signed back up or tried to log back in after a break. Either way they would only send a verification code if he’s tried to access the app.

As others have said, the logical explanation is almost always the right one.

dailygrind22 · 19/09/2023 11:39

If you click on the message and press recover it will go back into the inbox and show you the date it was sent x

Kim266 · 19/09/2023 11:43

The weird thing is that he said he’s been having problems with his phone since his old one broke and he tried to transfer things to his new one. He showed me the contacts and there are loads of spam contacts in there to do with poker, weird email addresses etc. He said it’s maybe something dodgy to do with that.

I looked on Reddit and other people say that they received a bumble/ tinder verification code when they hadn’t signed up for it. I’m hoping it was a spam text but when he’s back from work today I’ll check his phone again to see if I can find the last used date on Bumble.

OP posts:
hotblacktea · 19/09/2023 13:19

you either trust him or not, looks like you don't so spare yourself the future drama and end the relationship now

user1471517095 · 19/09/2023 14:03

My wasn't a verification code, but my phone did an update and the Bumble App appeared. I've never looked at it in my life.

Ariela · 19/09/2023 14:19

If he has a typical common email eg [email protected] email, you may find same namesurname[email protected] has miss typed this when asking for a new Bumble verification.

More worrying, my email address has had Facebook verification codes emailed several times a night (from about10pm- 3am) for about a week. Has stopped now, but I have changed my password several times in this time.

Kim266 · 20/09/2023 10:49

I looked last night and couldn’t find any record of the app being used recently on his iPhone storage.

We had an argument about it because he’s adamant he didn’t use it and he doesn’t know anything about this text. He downloaded Bumble in front of me and sent the code (the same type of message came through) and then gave me the phone. It was just a blank Bumble profile as if you were starting again and setting it up so there was no history or active profile. But of course that could be because it was deleted before and reset.

None if this makes sense. He’s relocating to be with me when we marry and making a lot of sacrifices. I can’t logically see him doing this. I’m hoping it was a scam text or someone put his phone number into Bumble by mistake. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
Shapemyeyebrows · 20/09/2023 11:57

@Kim266 sounds like you are willing to brush this under the carpet which is fair enough if that’s the right thing for you. But I think it’s obvious he knows about the message. He deleted it, it was in his deleted items. He has had time to ensure his footprint is clean in the meantime.

sodthesodoff · 20/09/2023 12:10

Shapemyeyebrows · 20/09/2023 11:57

@Kim266 sounds like you are willing to brush this under the carpet which is fair enough if that’s the right thing for you. But I think it’s obvious he knows about the message. He deleted it, it was in his deleted items. He has had time to ensure his footprint is clean in the meantime.

Yeah I think that's the key thing for me.

Sorry. I was trying to be optimistic and thinking of any other reason for it

But the fact it was deleted means he saw it. He had to have put it in that folder. So that is a lie

And if he's had his phone on him he's been able to delete anything and everything. It was too late to check then.