Me mid 20’s, been talking to this woman let’s call her C in her early twenties for two months now, we’ve been on three dates and hooked up on the third. And when she got drunk after this a couple days ago, she was sending lots of sexual voice messages to me. But she wants to take things slow due to a few reasons which i also want to which i’ll explain:
- Her mental health, she has a number of mental health issues (Anxiety, ADHD, Flashbacks, depression, bipolar and bulimia which has just come back again) She’s in a very low mood at the moment with her mental health since we started talking where on occasions she has had thoughts of harming herself/ending it and tried pushing me away because she says it’s not fair for me to deal with it and talk to her, but we spoke by text and carried on talking rebuilding communication and carrying on. Almost like winning her back each time. She also says this is the first time any of her dates have been made aware of her MH and she feels able to tell me things honestly and openly which i feel is good. Her flashbacks are due to her long-term ex i believe as she didn’t have a few things diagnosed when with her ex, could be wrong on that though.
- I have a very strong connection to her and I’m willing to spport her and be there for her which i have said to her and she’s been very open and honest with her mental health describing things to me etc. But says she doesn’t feel a connection back to me. On the 2nd date she said she had the butterflies for me, but after hooking up on the 3rd she said didn’t when we did speak about feelings etc. She sends me good morning pictures of herself and pictures of when she’s going to sleep to
- I’m currently still living with my ex and she’s living at home so seeing each other in a private way isn’t helping. i am currently looking for a new place and I would also say i do push/put pressure on her with some of the questions i ask her which i also know isn’t helping either. We are around a hour’s drive away from one another to. I did hide the fact that i lived with my ex until after the 2nd date, on the first date i said i was in my own place so i lied to her and came clean. Happily, she forgave that, but she said her walls have gone back up, but they have come down slightly after the 3rd date.
- She has asked for advice from her mum which she said that she should wait for someone to sweep her off her feet as it shouldn’t be this difficult. if she’s having doubts, panicking and it’s affecting her then it’s not right. But C said how nice i am and how happy i make her feel. But she doesn’t feel I’m IT though which i get anyway after 3 dates, but she said she is comparing me to her long-term ex that ended very badly but is comparing me to how it started with him as it was amazing. When asked why she’s still wanting to see where this goes, she said “Because i value what we have” if that’s good or not, not sure
I don’t know what to do, i feel a very, very strong connection to her, we get on very well, quite abit in common in terms of interests, family wants, hobbies etc. Although she said she didn’t have that connection after hooking up, we cuddled for an hour or two where she would just stare at me smiling and saying how happy she was. But when spoken about it on text when she didn’t know if she wanted to go ahead with dating any more. she said “she shouldn’t have smiled so much and given the wrong impression” but then later on said after speaking “I hope the feelings do come” Just a bit lost and need some guidance