How to go low contact

[Feelinglost30]

How to go low contact with an immediate family member (sibling) who only contacts when they want something e.g money (which I never give) and has done for years? Without ever asking if I’m ok or about my life. There’s a lot of back story and trauma in childhood on both sides which I won’t go into here.

Especially when there’s a parent still involved who we both still have contact with and meet up with, but who often enables the sibling and struggles to take into account my side of things? Although I know it’s the right thing I still feel guilt about going low contact and I am not sure how to manage maintaining a good relationship with other family members despite this. Anyone else had to manage a similar situation?

Surely you're already managing low contact?

You don't see or speak to them unless required at family events and don't engage with requests for money.

You can't control that your parent enables them. But you can set boundaries that you don't want to hear about your sibling in any capacity. But you must also not talk about them.

My sibling and I are nc with our surviving parent and have been for around 12 years. You literally just decide to do it, what it will look like for you and then stick to it.

We did lose our wider family though and only have each other now. For legal reasons, we are not able to discuss why we went nc which has meant that the parent has been able to fill the void with whatever nonsense they want and, without a counter version, have believed it. It was worth it though.

I am NC with my mother. She is toxic to the core. Its taken me years to go NC. im not going back, i feel more confident and free. If anyone in the family try to intervene i say its between me and mum no one else. Say the same and say no more to them about it. Shut it down before dialogue starts