i have posted before some people may remember.
split up with my partner 6 weeks ago now, his choice and long story short I was selfish it’s not until your out the situation you can see how awful your Behaviour was, I didn’t put him first, I was putting my social life first, ruined Sundays with hangovers etc and on occasions was sick in his flat and expected him to look after me and just be there, I didn’t see it that way at the time but looking back I can see that’s exactly what I done.
I didn’t exactly help maters by not giving him space when we split either my friends and family think I’m living in some fantasy land hoping he will come back, we have spoken a few times and on two occasions he’s told me he’s totally done, resents me and doesn’t want to speak again etc but we always end up going back to we will speak after no contact ( can’t put a time limit on it will just be when he feels ready ) the way we have left it is he will reach out to me, I am a really bad over thinker and he knows this, I don’t know if he’s just saying all this to get rid of me. He has been honest in saying the chances are nothing will change.
the problem I’m having is I’m really struggling with loneliness and isolation, I do have friends ( all at different stages of life ) but I’m trying to make lifestyle changes as my lifestyle had a big impact on the end of the relationship, my friends can’t understand why I want to change they are of the mindset if he doesn’t want you the way you are don’t change, Iv recently started a new job so don’t have the support of work mates around me, and I live alone. Iv joined classes, joined bumble ( to meet single female friends in my area) I am really trying, I go out walks and spend time with family and go to therapy.
I just feel I’m burdening people and I hate the thought of that. Everyone’s told me my ex came in to my life to teach me a lesson or was only to be for a short while. I feel really deeply and was so happy with this man, I maybe just didn’t communicate it properly at the time. I am worried I’m going to end up even more crushed at the end of no contact when he tells me nothings changed in regards to us. Does anyone have any tips on how to beat loneliness and feel genuinely happy again? Thank you