Why are men so hard to understand???

[Pollyp123]

Hi gals, looking for some guidance on this as I genuinely feel so lost…

I’ve been dating this boy for over 2 months, we get on so well and we’ve met each others friends and family knows about us. We see each other regularly every week, alongside our sometimes conflicting schedules as he is an assistant manager at a pub and I work a 9-5.
He is very shy and not really in touch with his emotions. For context, I am 23 and he is 21, Ive had quite a lot of past experience but he hasn’t since school but we are exclusive and when I’ve initiated the conversation in the past about becoming official he’s said he’s not going anywhere and “it will come”.

Over the past week, I’ve noticed he’s not been his normal self, his personality is quite “wind up” like so he will often give me wind up answers to serious questions and then finish with “why wouldn’t I want to” when I’m someone who needs reassurance.
Today I decided to ask if there was something bothering him and his response has completely thrown me. He said he feels like we’re different and that our relationship is not the same as it was within the first month. For further context, at the start of us dating we both had free schedules as I was waiting to start my 9-5 and he was off work with a broken foot so seeing each other ran like clockwork. When I questioned him further he said he wasn’t sure what felt different but it wasn’t his feelings for me but he said he’d been talking to his flatmate about it who apparently agreed that we seemed different? when today was the first time he had mentioned it to me after feeling this way for weeks.

I really cannot see it, yes we don’t see each other as much as the start but that was always bound to happen when we both started our jobs again. I asked him straight up if he was ending things and he said he wasn’t but I’ve just been so upset about it all day wracking my brains as to what might have changed but on my end there’s nothing.
He’s spoke to me like usual and made plans to see me on his day off like we would usually I’m just so confused as to where I stand.

If anyone can offer any guidance or kind words would be much appreciated. Thank you and sorry for the long post xxx

I think he is probably interested in someone else but keeping you around just incase. Sorry

OP all you can do is be yourself in relationship, by doing this you will put off those who won't be right for you but attract the ones who are. If he is like this after a month blowing hot and cold or triggering these feelings in you then I'd say he isn't your guy. At your age or younger I tied myself up in knots trying to figure out what guys meant or what I had done wrong or if I just wasn't pretty enough and it wasn't any of those things. Its just becoming apparent at a thankfully early stage that you two aren't suited which is a blessing. I like the phrase "rejection is God's protection" or Rejection is Redirection" I think there is truth in this.

Honestly if he is making you feel confused at this point that isn't a good sign, When I met my husband out of all the guys I'd dated he never made me feel anything other than adored and that's how it should be especially at this stage. I would break it off with the proviso that you dumping him may prompt him to seem more keen and chase you again but don't fall for it, I'd guess his attachment style is somewhat avoidant so he probably feels uncomfortable with your openness to him so when you reject him he will feel safer to pursue you but it won't last.

Maybe his is scared of love, maybe deep down her really like you but just isn't ready for a relationship, none of that matters because he can't give you what you need at this time and so its time to move on and make space for a guy that can give you what you need.

He wants to split up but hasn’t yet worked up the courage to tell you. You sound quite needy (wanting lots of reassurance, etc.) and a lot of people find that quite off putting.

I don’t think it’s any great shocker sounds like everything was full on and fun and now it’s settling down to normal day to day life and drudge