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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How to get over him

11 replies

Joeyandchandler · 17/09/2023 19:16

How do I get over a man than I truly think is my lobster but it's a right person wrong time situation?
Long story short we can't be together right now as his ex wife is just making life unbearable for us both and it's really starting to affect my mental health so I've chosen to walk away but it's killing me. I just want to ring him or text him but I know I'll never begin to heal if I contact him.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 17/09/2023 19:18

He's not the right person if the negatives are greater than the positives.

You're not in a fairy tale. This isn't 'tragic', it's just going to be a bit tough for a while.

Lobsters aren't a thing, and nor is 'right person, wrong time'. Wrong time = wrong person.

Calistano · 17/09/2023 19:22

Time, boring answer.

unisurge · 17/09/2023 21:02

It's so shit and doesn't help but time honestly will be the healer. You will look back in a few months and honestly won't believe you felt so upset. In the meantime work on you. Exercise, eat well, read a self help book, meditate, do yoga, do all the things!! You'll be grand :) you've got this. I find watching break up advice and podcasts good aswell on tik tok (yes, I'm 39!)

Melojello · 17/09/2023 21:04

Is there more context as to why the ex wife is so unbearable, there must be a good reason? Are there children involved?

You may have had a lucky escape OP.

birker · 17/09/2023 21:06

Why is his ex wife able to have such a strong impact on current relationship? Sounds like he needs to grow a pair

MumOfPsuedoAdult · 17/09/2023 21:52

Lobster?

Original poster
Joeyandchandler · 18/09/2023 14:54

They have 2 children together and 1 is disabled and he is very involved with them as he should be. The ex wife didn't want to break up and will call him constantly and he nearly always answers incase it's about the disabled child and if he doesn't answer because he knows it's not, she will email him or find other ways to contact him.

OP posts:
AlrightThen · 18/09/2023 15:59

That's very odd to me.

Melojello · 18/09/2023 20:15

So he just left his wife to deal with his disabled child? Sounds completely reasonable for him to be involved to me. Are the children very young?

Billi80 · 18/09/2023 23:31

I think you’re better off without him and involvement with his DC. It sounds horribly complicated and messy. Being the DP of someone with DC is tough.

Original poster
Joeyandchandler · 19/09/2023 13:37

She cheated on him, that's why he left.

OP posts:
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