I am really hoping there are some people on here who can offer me some guidance / personal experience on this. I have finally ended my very toxic marriage. Investigation ongoing for Rape and Coercive Control. He is on bail and cannot contact/come near me but we have 2 DC who he has nominated his mother as 3rd party to facilitate access to the children. I have discovered he has a big drug problem and was taking drugs daily at his mother's house with her knowledge and this is where the DC would be taken. There is a history of the DC being screamed and shouted at by their father and his mother has joined in on occasion with horrible comments towards them. Do I have to allow this access? Is there anything I can do to safeguard the children - I let everyone down and should have ended the relationship much sooner but I was made to believe I was the problem and was threatened that he would take the children away from me as I was 'unstable'. I will hopefully speak to a solicitor tomorrow but I would really like to go into this as informed as I can be, I won't let the children or myself down again.