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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sad enough, does that make me mean or cold hearted?

2 replies

MumMoving · 17/09/2023 15:30

My mum got everyone together yesterday, it was supposed to be a “going away on holiday for 3 months” meal, but I knew what was coming.

Mum announced she’s not coming back from holiday and will be looking for somewhere to live while out there.

Everyone apart from me was upset and cried apart from me.

My siblings and my mums siblings are accusing me of being cold hearted and mean. Saying I'm obviously not attached to my mum and I'm not sad enough or I should be begging her to say.

I am not shocked or upset. It's not my job to give her a reason to stay here. If she feels it's something she has to do then it's something she has to do.

I am just not shocked. For as long as I can remember my mums talked about living in the country she’s going to. She lived there as a child and has visited it every year for years. She tried to persuade my dad to move there and I’m 99% convinced that’s why they split, she tried to take me and my siblings there when they split but my dad wouldn’t let her (I think there may even have been a legal battle over it) and she went anyway, before returning a year later claiming she missed us, but has always spoken about going back.

She claims she has nothing to tie her to the UK now so it’s now or never.

Am I really cold hearted for not being surprised she’s not coming back?

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 17/09/2023 15:33

No she’s cold hearted saying she has nothing to keep her here.

And she left her DC for a year. She’s the cold hearted one and I imagine that’s why you feel as detached as you do.

Doesn’t sound like she’s earned any tears.

Dillydollydingdong · 17/09/2023 15:36

No you're not cold hearted. She's doing something she always wanted to do. You will be able to visit, or at least, those who really miss her will be able to visit. Good for her.

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