Rejecting someone nicely?

[TxtSpk]

I met a guy on a night out last weekend and we went out for dinner this evening. I really felt chemistry (rare for me) on our first meeting. I have been so nervous and excited for the date but it was awful and I don’t want to see him again. He asked me a couple of times if I wanted to go out again and I agreed because I didn’t want to reject him to his face. He’s already followed up with a text to say he had a nice time and would like to see me again.

I have terrible people pleasing tendencies (currently in therapy to address this but my next session isn’t until next week) and feel bad about having to tell him I don’t feel the same. What’s a nice way to let someone down gently please? Bearing in mind I will probably bump into him again at some point. I’ve already decided that I don’t want to date at all and be single for a good while after this!

“Thank you but there was no spark for me and without fire the night grows cold.”

Was said to me after a lovely first date; both honest and poetic. Sigh.

Tell him you have 15 cats. Seriously though, just tell him thanks for the evening, but you didn’t feel like you hit it off enough for you to want to meet up again x

Thank you for the offer of another date. I've had some time to think and I don't think I'm looking for a relationship with anyone right now, I'd like some time to be single.

I teach English, and that guys poem still makes me puke. Lucky escape, he sounds like a weirdo

"Hi X, thanks for the night out. I had fun but I've realised I'm not in the right space for a relationship right now. It was good to meet you and I hope you meet someone lovely soon!"

"Hi X, thanks for the dinner the other night. After some thinking, I'm sorry, but I don't feel we've quite clicked. It was nice to meet you and I expect we will probably bump into each other again at some point."

I’m trying to teach my daughter this at the moment.
can I have your number ? - no
why not? Because I don’t want to
heh no need to be rude ! We could just meet as friends? - no thanks

you don’t need to give a reason or be pressurised or worried about saying no or an excuse

you could just reply with

no thanks - all the best.

Thanks everyone for the suggestions, it’s been really helpful. I did the deed this morning. Hopefully he takes it well.

This. It’s direct and polite - what else do you need?

My typing is seriously slow!

Well done TxtSpk , there is no easy on you way to put your feelings across, better done today than stew over it. There are sure to be nicer men who have whatever you need in a relationship out there.

Thanks @Flatbellyfella. I think it’s the worst thing about dating for me!

I’m actually kind of relieved that we didn’t hit it off. Although I'm not dating, I’ve been open to opportunities. But, I'm in a really good place for the first time in a long time and this kind of reiterated how much time and headspace relationships/dating takes up not to mention the effort and money.

Tell him you've accumulated a large debt and need some money to start a business because you don't believe in an employed life.

I don’t think that would have worked on this one - he told me he’d already retired in his 40’s and only worked when he wanted, lots of bragging about his wealth etc. He picked me up in a 12 year old cinquecento after telling me he drives an Audi - not really bothered what car people drive but the whole date had the whiff of bullshit.

Funnily enough when I read your first post I thought - I wonder if he's a narcissist.

Because you often get intense chemistry with them. Maybe because they properly stare at you and you mistake it for lust...actually, its just them hungrily sizing up their next meal.

And sure enough on your update- a lying braggart. Surprise surprise lol.

Genuinely wealthy people don't tend to brag about it, especially not middle-aged ones, who are usually on high alert for gold-diggers wanting to relieve them of their wealth!

Seems to me that if it smells of bullshit, it usually is.