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Original poster

Question for all the Grans/Nans etc ...

13 replies

justanothermanicmonday1 · 16/09/2023 22:36

Lighthearted thread.

We have recently had another baby and I feel like one of the grans isn't as excited/interested as she was with the first 😂

I'm sure that will change, because she is without a doubt the most unbelievable gran to our DC.

So my question, if you have more than 1 grandchild, do you have a favourite? If so, why? Is it just a soft spot for the first born? 😂

Thanks x

OP posts:
antwacky · 16/09/2023 23:47

Many congratulations on the birth of your baby. Ive got four grandchildren, absolutely adore them and definitely don't have a favourite.

saraclara · 17/09/2023 00:05

Mine are 3.5 years and 9 months. So of course the older one and I have built a chatty relationship with lots of interaction and one to one time, sleepovers etc.

My relationship with the adorable smiley younger one is different of course, and not really comparable. So I suppose when they're both here it will seem as though I give more attention to her big sister. But I don't think that's favouritism as such. It just reflects the different ages and type of interaction, and the fact that a three year old seeks attention and conversation, while the little one just sits and beams at us!

When I compare how I felt and interacted with them at the same 9 month stage, there's no difference at all.

RantyAnty · 17/09/2023 00:27

No, I don't have a favorite at all.

UsingChangeofName · 17/09/2023 00:31

It's not a favourite, but, just like when you only had one, and could sit there just looking lovingly at them even if they were asleep, but now you have 2, you have to split your time and attention between the 2 of them, you won't be able to give as much time to the 2nd as you did to the first when they were a newborn - it is the same with Grans / Nans.
Indeed, so many lovely Grans will occupy and fuss over the toddler when the new baby arrives as they are aware of the challenge faced by parents being tired with two. They can often do more for the toddler (play with them, read to them, go for a walk or whatever) than they can for a new baby.

Whataretalkingabout · 18/09/2023 01:04

I agree with the pps. However.... I do believe the first child is especially blessed with attention due to the novelty of each and every event. First solid food, first footsteps, first words, first Christmas as a family etc. And the first grandchild of a generation also benefits from being primo in the extended family. Nothing personally to do with this specific child; all children are equally special, it's just a fact of life.

Thistlelass · 20/09/2023 01:54

I have no contact with the eldest of 5 grandchildren. She will be 11 this year. I see photos of her but there is no relationship.
I have 4 other grandkids, 2 boys, 2 girls. I know each of their personalities and characters as you would expect a good granny too lol! Sometimes that knowledge is enhanced by stories the parents tell of their antics.
Do I have a favourite? I really would say no. I feel a surge of love for each one as I spend time with them but that's not favouritism. My chest might swell a bit with pride if one reaches a milestone or has a certain achievement. I experience that with each one so no. No favourite.

Mollymalone123 · 20/09/2023 03:25

I have 2. There’s a few years apart and hand on heart I love them both as much as each other.

WellPlaced · 20/09/2023 03:40

I have 2 and no favourite.

When the 2nd was born I was slightly worried the first may feel pushed out so really tried to focus my attention on them. The baby would know no different anyway and it gave a chance for my DS & DiL to focus on feeding and sleeping etc.

Could this be what’s happening here?

Tlolljs · 20/09/2023 04:00

I have 7 no favourite. However the relationships are different depending on age. My eldest grandson is of an age where we can have good conversations, I’m loving that.

ShippingNews · 20/09/2023 04:02

I've got 5 grandchildren from 1 to 18 . I love them all dearly, and no the first grandchild didn't automatically become "the favorite". If anything, I do have a slightly softer spot for my 3rd grandchild, because she has a disability which makes her more vulnerable, and life is that much harder for her. I know my other GCs will be fine in life, but she will have struggles and I think it's natural that I feel more tender-hearted towards her.

Enko · 20/09/2023 05:48

Not. A granny. However mil had 8 grandchildren and no favourites. My mother had 5 and very much had a favourite. So it happens..

Loubelle70 · 20/09/2023 06:11

I have 3 grand children. I am very close to oldest GS , he's vulnerable and has autism, i Also have him stay over couple times a week. Hes not my favourite, but we are closer because we spend more time together than youngest GS. Also oldest GS other grandparents don't have much to do with him, whilst youngest GS grandparents do. So oldest one missing out on that. I wont show more attention to 1 than the other when we are all together.
We lost first grandchild so were very protective of oldest grandson (Born after). But, no favouritism.

IShouldNotBeSurprised · 20/09/2023 07:17

I have 8 grandchildren, the oldest will be 8 in December and the youngest is 4 months old. I definitely don't have any favorites or feel more connected to any of them.

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