I've been in a relationship for four years. We live apart, both have teenage kids.
My 'partner' has a dependent ex wife. By this I mean, that he has gone beyond what was instructed by court when they divorced ten years ago and has his teenagers over half the week and also pays a lot of her bills. She chooses not to work, but that's between them.
He often complains to me about the situation and her behaviour (he never has any money, only debt) as he works full time, but he never does anything (ie tell her to be responsible for her own costs, that even the court ordered this). This is not my business I know.
His teenagers and I get on well, but he has low expectations of them. For example he does everything for them, for example they can't make their breakfast or choose what to wear. They never do anything unaided, so rather than walk/get the bus, he drives them everywhere, meaning he can't make plans with me at the weekend. Whereas I expect my teenagers to do chores at home and they're often out and about independently.
I know the parenting isn't really my business. However, between the exwife always calling him, wanting money etc, and the teenagers always wanting him, I can't see that this man will ever be very 'available'. Again, I know it's up to him to make choices. For me though, I would like to live together when our kids have grown up, build a future.
He promises lots, but then never goes through with it (particularly around the exwife).
I think a relationship like this is unlikely to change?