Was it okey thing to do?

[ClearThisUp]

I’ve only been in one relationship, I talked about with my friends and they say it was fine and that I was the problem.
But I don’t know and want to check with you.

And also, I know people are and like different things.

So my now ex, used to slap my backside and grap my boob and kinda yank (not like violently, but there was a tug) my ponytail/braid, like I said, we like different things, but I just really,really did not like it when he did that.
I did tell him how I dislike it and how I wished he wouldn’t do that.
But he continued, he said that’s what’s couple’s do, it’s fun, he show that his ’attracted’ to me that way etc.
And after some time when I again asked him not to do that, he started to get more annoyid and said I was being difficult etc.

Some months later I ended it, haven’t been in another realtionship after that (I was just totally exchausted at the end if this one).
But I just want to check.
It was oney to have that boundary, right?
I wasn’t being a butch, right?

Yanbu. Partners should not do things to you that you don't want them to do, ever.

You were not the problem. You're allowed to say what you don't like and have your partner respect that. Regardless of whatever it is. Everyone is different and have different things they accept and enjoy.

Thank you.
By the end he did this thing where just kept calling me naive and that I didn’t understand how grown up relationships work.
So I started to feel like an idiot who didn’t have a clue how to be in a relationship.

He was gas lighting you to destroy your confidence and belief in yourself to make you easy to control. Don't let anyone make you feel like an idiot again OP. If they don't appreciate you for who you are then they're not right for you.

Well done for ending it, you should be proud of yourself. Don't let that arse have any more of your head space.

I would honestly punch a DP if they did that to me.

Ironic when he said you don't understand how grown up relationships work and yet he, a grown man doesn't understand you have the right to your boundaries and they should be respected. Or rather, pretends not to understand, so that that he can keep being a dickhead and gaslight you by telling you he's behaving normally.

He was an asshole and you're well shot of him.

Some people may well be fine with having their arse slapped, some might even like it sure. I don't- I remember the first time someone tried it and my first thought was " what am I, a f**king horse?", had a mental flop in the moment, which is probably not what's intended.
I tend to let anyone know its not my thing and it's totally right to do so. Anyone who ignores your wishes should be binned off, so we'll done for sticking to your guns, you did the right thing.

I did tell him how I dislike it and how I wished he wouldn’t do that.* But he continued*

Then it was assault.

In any future relationships ANY repeated physical touch that you have said you don't like is a massive red flag. People like all sorts of things. That doesn't mean you have to. And don;t be shamed and pressured into doing things you don't like.

Your friends are idiots with no self respect. You’re not. Good for you.

This behaviour would have escalated.

Any relationship in which your partner puts you down and makes you feel bad about who you are or does things to you that you don't like is one that you should leave.